Sometimes, just having a mediator isn’t quite enough to get a deal done. That’s where negotiation support comes in. It’s like having a helpful guide on the side, making sure everyone understands what’s going on and what their options are. This extra bit of help can really make a difference in how well a mediation works out, leading to agreements that people can actually stick with. We’ll look at how this support helps, what it involves, and why it’s becoming more important.
Key Takeaways
- Negotiation support adds an extra layer to mediation, helping parties communicate better and understand their options more clearly.
- It involves various techniques, like private meetings (caucuses) and reality testing, to move discussions forward.
- When done right, negotiation support leads to agreements that are more specific, understood by everyone, and likely to last.
- Mediators play a key role in providing this support while staying neutral, managing emotions, and keeping the process fair.
- Using negotiation support can address challenges like power differences and help parties feel more committed to the final outcome.
Enhancing Mediation Through Negotiation Support
The Role of Negotiation Support in Dispute Resolution
Mediation is a process where a neutral person helps people sort out a disagreement. Sometimes, just having that neutral person isn’t quite enough. That’s where negotiation support comes in. Think of it as a helpful guide that works alongside the mediator, making sure everyone involved in the dispute has the tools and understanding they need to negotiate effectively. It’s not about the mediator telling people what to do, but rather about making sure the people in the dispute can actually talk through their issues and find solutions themselves. This support helps make the whole mediation process work better. It’s about making sure that when people are trying to resolve things, they’re doing it with a clear head and all the necessary information.
Integrating Negotiation Support into Mediation Frameworks
Adding negotiation support into how mediation is usually done isn’t as complicated as it might sound. It’s about weaving in extra help at the right moments. This could mean providing parties with information before the mediation even starts, or having specific tools available during the sessions. For example, parties might get checklists to help them think about what they really need, not just what they’re asking for. Or, during private meetings with the mediator (called caucuses), the support might involve helping parties look at their options more closely. It’s about making the existing mediation structure stronger by adding these helpful layers.
Benefits of Proactive Negotiation Support
When you offer negotiation support before things get heated in mediation, it can make a big difference. Parties come into the room more prepared. They’ve had a chance to think about their goals and what’s really important to them. This preparation means less time is spent just figuring out the basics during the actual mediation. It can also help level the playing field if one person has more information or power than the other. Being proactive means people are more likely to feel confident and ready to talk, which usually leads to better agreements that everyone can stick with.
Here are some key benefits:
- Better Prepared Parties: Individuals understand their own needs and the process better.
- More Realistic Expectations: Support helps parties assess their situation realistically before mediation.
- Smoother Process: Less time is wasted on basic understanding, allowing focus on solutions.
- Increased Confidence: Parties feel more equipped to participate actively and assertively.
Proactive support helps individuals move from simply stating what they want to understanding why they want it. This shift is key to finding solutions that truly work for everyone involved.
Understanding the Nuances of Negotiation Support
When we talk about negotiation support within mediation, it’s easy to get a little fuzzy on what exactly we mean. It’s not just about the mediator doing their thing; it’s about specific ways to help people talk through their issues better. Think of it like this: mediation is the whole process of trying to sort things out with a neutral person helping, and negotiation support is a set of tools or techniques used during that process to make the talking and problem-solving part more effective.
Defining Negotiation Support in Mediation Contexts
So, what is negotiation support, really, when we’re in a mediation setting? At its core, it’s about providing assistance to the parties involved in a dispute to help them communicate more clearly, understand each other’s needs, and explore options for resolution. It’s about making the negotiation part of the mediation smoother and more productive. This isn’t about the mediator telling people what to do or pushing for a specific outcome. Instead, it’s about creating an environment and offering methods that allow the parties themselves to reach their own best possible agreement. It’s about helping them move from just stating what they want (their position) to understanding why they want it (their underlying interests).
Key Components of Effective Negotiation Support
What makes negotiation support actually work well? There are a few key things that seem to make a difference:
- Clear Communication Tools: This can involve things like active listening training, reframing negative statements into neutral ones, or using summaries to make sure everyone is on the same page. It’s about making sure words are heard and understood correctly.
- Interest Identification: Helping parties dig deeper than their initial demands to find out what they truly need or want. This often involves asking good questions and creating space for honest sharing.
- Option Generation: Encouraging parties to brainstorm a wide range of possible solutions, even ones that seem a bit out there at first. The goal is to expand the possibilities beyond the obvious.
- Reality Testing: Gently guiding parties to consider the practical side of their proposals. Can this actually be done? What are the consequences if it is or isn’t? This helps ground the discussion.
Distinguishing Negotiation Support from Mediation Itself
It’s important to see how negotiation support fits into the bigger picture of mediation. Mediation is the overall framework – the voluntary process, the neutral facilitator, the confidential setting. Negotiation support, on the other hand, refers to the specific actions and techniques used within that framework to improve the parties’ ability to negotiate. A mediator might use negotiation support techniques like caucuses (private meetings with each party) to help someone explore their interests or reality-test a proposal. The mediator doesn’t do the negotiation for them, but they provide the scaffolding and tools to help the parties negotiate more effectively themselves.
The distinction is subtle but significant. Mediation provides the stage and the director, while negotiation support offers specific acting coaching and stagecraft techniques to the performers. The goal is always to enable the parties to reach their own informed and voluntary agreement, not to have one imposed upon them.
Essentially, negotiation support is a set of skills and strategies that a mediator employs to help parties engage in more constructive and effective bargaining, all within the established boundaries and principles of the mediation process itself. It’s about making the ‘talking it out’ part of mediation work better.
Improving Agreement Quality with Negotiation Support
Crafting Clear and Specific Mediation Agreements
When parties reach an agreement in mediation, the real work isn’t over. Making sure that agreement is clear, specific, and understood by everyone involved is super important. Vague terms can lead to more arguments down the road, which is exactly what mediation is supposed to prevent. Negotiation support helps parties think through the details, so what they write down actually reflects what they agreed to.
Think about it like this: if you agree to "fix the fence," what does that really mean? Does it mean patching a hole, replacing a few posts, or rebuilding the whole thing? Negotiation support encourages parties to get specific. This might involve:
- Defining the exact scope of work.
- Setting clear timelines for completion.
- Specifying who is responsible for what.
- Outlining the quality standards expected.
The goal is to leave no room for misinterpretation. When support is present, parties are prompted to consider these details, leading to agreements that are much easier to follow.
Ensuring Mutual Understanding and Voluntariness
Part of what makes mediation work is that people feel they’ve genuinely agreed to something. Negotiation support plays a role here by making sure both sides really get what’s being proposed and that they’re agreeing to it freely. Sometimes, one party might agree to something just to end the mediation, not because they truly understand or accept it. Support can help by:
- Encouraging parties to explain their understanding of the terms.
- Facilitating questions to clarify any doubts.
- Checking in to confirm that the agreement feels right for each person.
It’s easy to get caught up in the momentum of reaching a deal. However, true agreement comes from a place of informed consent. Negotiation support acts as a safeguard, ensuring that the pressure to settle doesn’t override the need for genuine buy-in from all parties involved.
Facilitating Durable and Enforceable Outcomes
An agreement that falls apart a few months later isn’t much of a success. Negotiation support helps create agreements that last. This means looking beyond just settling the immediate issue and considering how the agreement will work in practice. It involves:
- Reality testing: Helping parties assess if their agreement is practical and achievable.
- Considering future scenarios and how the agreement might need to adapt.
- Discussing potential enforcement mechanisms if needed.
For example, if parties agree on a payment plan, negotiation support might prompt them to discuss what happens if a payment is missed, or if circumstances change for the payer. This foresight makes the agreement more robust and less likely to lead to future disputes. The result is an outcome that provides real closure and stability.
Leveraging Negotiation Support for Optimal Outcomes
Sometimes, just getting people in a room isn’t enough. To really make mediation work, we need to think about how parties are approaching the discussion itself. Negotiation support helps make sure everyone is on the same page and ready to find solutions, not just dig in their heels. It’s about making the whole process smoother and more productive.
Identifying Interests Beyond Stated Positions
People often come to mediation with a clear idea of what they want – their position. But what they need or why they want it is usually hidden underneath. Negotiation support helps mediators and parties dig deeper. It’s like peeling back layers to see the real concerns driving the conflict. This is where the magic happens, because understanding these underlying needs opens up more possibilities for agreement.
- Focus on the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’.
- Encourage parties to explain their reasoning and priorities.
- Use open-ended questions to explore motivations.
- Help parties see the other side’s underlying needs, not just their demands.
Exploring Creative and Tailored Solutions
Once we know what everyone truly cares about, we can start brainstorming. This isn’t about finding the first answer that pops up; it’s about getting creative. Negotiation support can guide parties to think outside the box and come up with solutions that fit their specific situation. This might involve things that aren’t just about money, like future business arrangements or how people will communicate going forward.
Here are some ways to get creative:
- Brainstorming session: Encourage a free flow of ideas without immediate judgment.
- Option generation: List as many potential solutions as possible, even if they seem a bit unusual at first.
- Package deals: Combine different issues and solutions to create a package that addresses multiple interests.
- Future-focused solutions: Think about agreements that will work well over time, not just for today.
Sometimes the best solutions aren’t obvious. They come from really listening and being willing to explore different paths. Negotiation support helps create the space for that kind of thinking, moving beyond simple compromises to find agreements that truly work for everyone involved.
Reality Testing and Feasibility Assessment
It’s great to come up with lots of ideas, but they also need to be practical. Negotiation support includes helping parties look at their proposed solutions realistically. Can this actually be done? What are the potential problems? What happens if things change? This step is super important for making sure any agreement reached will actually last and won’t fall apart later.
- Consider practical implications: How will this agreement be put into practice?
- Assess potential risks: What could go wrong, and how can we prepare for it?
- Evaluate resource needs: Does everyone have what they need to follow through?
- Check for fairness and balance: Does the proposed solution seem reasonable to all parties involved?
The Mediator’s Role in Negotiation Support
Facilitating Constructive Dialogue and Communication
The mediator acts as a guide, helping parties talk to each other more effectively. It’s not about telling people what to do, but about creating a space where they can actually hear each other. This involves a lot of active listening – really paying attention to what’s being said, and also what’s not being said. Mediators often reframe statements, taking something that sounds angry or accusatory and turning it into a neutral observation about a problem that needs solving. For example, instead of "You always ignore my requests!", a mediator might say, "So, it sounds like timely responses to requests have been a challenge." This small shift can make a big difference in how people react. The goal is to move away from blame and towards understanding the issues at hand.
- Active Listening: Focusing fully on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully.
- Reframing: Restating negative or positional statements in neutral, constructive terms.
- Clarifying: Asking questions to ensure everyone understands the points being made.
- Managing Tone: Encouraging respectful language and discouraging interruptions.
Managing Emotional Dynamics and De-escalation
Let’s be honest, mediations can get pretty emotional. People are often upset, frustrated, or even angry when they come to mediation. A big part of the mediator’s job is to manage these feelings so they don’t derail the process. This means recognizing when emotions are running high and knowing how to bring the temperature down. Sometimes, it’s as simple as taking a short break. Other times, it involves validating someone’s feelings without necessarily agreeing with their position. Saying something like, "I can see why you feel strongly about this," can go a long way. The aim is to help parties express their emotions constructively, rather than letting them explode and shut down communication.
- Recognizing Emotional Cues: Identifying signs of distress, anger, or frustration.
- Taking Breaks: Offering pauses to allow parties to cool down and regroup.
- Validating Feelings: Acknowledging emotions to show empathy and understanding.
- De-escalation Techniques: Using calm language and neutral statements to reduce tension.
Mediators help parties express their emotions in a way that moves the conversation forward, rather than letting feelings become a roadblock to resolution. It’s about channeling that energy productively.
Maintaining Neutrality While Offering Support
This is where it gets tricky. Mediators need to be neutral – they can’t take sides. But they also need to offer support to help parties negotiate effectively. How do you do both? It’s about supporting the process and the parties’ ability to negotiate, not supporting one party’s specific demands over the other. Support comes in the form of guiding the conversation, helping parties explore options, and making sure everyone understands the implications of their choices. It’s about empowering the parties to make their own decisions, informed and clear. The mediator provides structure and assistance, but the decisions always rest with the people in the room.
| Aspect of Support | Mediator’s Action |
| :———————– | :——————————————————————————– | –
| Process Guidance | Explaining steps, setting ground rules, managing time. |
| Information Clarity | Helping parties understand issues and potential outcomes. |
| Option Exploration | Encouraging brainstorming and considering different solutions. |
| Reality Testing | Assisting parties in assessing the feasibility and consequences of proposals. |
| Neutrality Maintenance | Avoiding judgment, bias, or favoring one party’s viewpoint or demands. |
Addressing Challenges with Negotiation Support
Even with the best intentions, bringing negotiation support into mediation isn’t always smooth sailing. There are a few tricky spots that can pop up, and knowing about them beforehand helps everyone get through them.
Navigating Power Imbalances and Cultural Differences
Sometimes, one person in the mediation has a lot more influence, money, or information than the other. This power imbalance can make it hard for the less powerful person to speak up or get a fair deal. Negotiation support needs to be careful here. The goal is to level the playing field a bit, not to tip it the other way. This might mean making sure everyone gets equal time to talk or helping the less powerful party understand their options better. It’s also important to remember that people from different backgrounds communicate and see things differently. What seems direct in one culture might be rude in another. A good mediator, and the support they offer, needs to be aware of these cultural differences and adjust how they communicate to make sure everyone feels respected and understood.
- Structure the process: Ensure equal speaking time and opportunities for input.
- Adapt communication: Use clear, simple language and check for understanding.
- Educate parties: Briefly explain how cultural norms might affect communication.
- Identify underlying needs: Look beyond surface-level demands to understand true interests.
It’s easy to overlook how much cultural background and personal power can affect a negotiation. What seems like a simple misunderstanding might actually be rooted in deeper differences in how people approach conflict and communication. Being mindful of this is key to making sure the support offered is actually helpful and not just adding another layer of complexity.
Handling Impasse and Difficult Negotiations
What happens when people just can’t agree? That’s called an impasse, and it’s a common hurdle. Negotiation support can help here by trying to break the deadlock. Sometimes, this means taking a break, or maybe the mediator meets with each person separately (a caucus) to explore things more privately. This private meeting allows people to be more open about their real concerns or what they’re willing to give up without the other person hearing it. It’s a way to test the waters and see if there’s any room to move.
- Utilize Caucuses: Private meetings allow for candid discussion and exploration of underlying interests.
- Reframe the Issues: Present the sticking points in a new light to encourage fresh thinking.
- Reality Testing: Gently help parties assess the consequences of not reaching an agreement.
- Brainstorming Options: Encourage creative solutions that might not have been considered.
Ensuring Ethical Considerations in Support Strategies
All this support needs to be offered ethically. That means the mediator has to stay neutral. They can’t take sides or push one person’s agenda. The support should help both parties negotiate better, not help one party win at the other’s expense. Transparency is also big – parties should know what kind of support is being offered and why. It’s about making the process fair and making sure everyone feels they’ve had a genuine chance to be heard and to make their own decisions. The ultimate goal is a fair and voluntary agreement, not just any agreement.
- Maintain Neutrality: Avoid any action that could be perceived as favoring one party.
- Ensure Informed Consent: Parties must understand the support being offered and agree to it.
- Protect Confidentiality: Information shared in private caucuses must remain confidential.
- Promote Self-Determination: Support should enable parties to make their own informed choices.
The Impact of Negotiation Support on Compliance
When parties work through a dispute with negotiation support during mediation, they tend to stick to the agreements they make. It’s not just about reaching a deal; it’s about making sure that deal actually works in the real world.
Fostering Ownership and Commitment to Agreements
Negotiation support helps people feel like the agreement is theirs. When a mediator or support person helps parties explore their own needs and come up with solutions themselves, they feel more invested. This sense of ownership is a big reason why they’re more likely to follow through. It’s different from having a decision imposed on you; this way, you’re part of creating the solution.
- Parties feel heard and understood. This validation makes them more open to compromise and commitment.
- Solutions are practical and tailored. When support helps parties consider what’s actually doable, the agreement is more likely to be followed.
- A sense of fairness is established. When parties believe the process and outcome were fair, they are more motivated to comply.
When people have a hand in crafting the solution, they feel a stronger pull to make it work. It’s less about obligation and more about personal investment.
Reducing Future Disputes Through Clear Resolutions
Part of what negotiation support does is help clarify things. Vague agreements lead to confusion and, down the line, more arguments. By working with a support person or mediator to nail down the specifics – who does what, by when, and how – the chances of future disagreements go way down. It’s like building a solid foundation instead of a shaky one.
Here’s how clearer resolutions help:
- Specific terms: Defining exact actions, deadlines, and responsibilities leaves less room for interpretation.
- Anticipating issues: Support can help parties think about potential problems and build in solutions beforehand.
- Documenting understanding: A well-written agreement, often a result of good negotiation support, serves as a clear reference point.
Enhancing Long-Term Durability of Mediation Outcomes
Agreements that are made with good support tend to last longer. This isn’t just about avoiding immediate conflict; it’s about creating outcomes that hold up over time. When parties have a better understanding of each other’s needs and have explored various options with guidance, the resulting agreement is often more robust and adaptable to future changes. This durability means less need for revisiting the dispute later on, saving everyone time and stress.
Strategic Application of Negotiation Support
Applying negotiation support effectively means thinking about how and when to bring it into the mediation process. It’s not a one-size-fits-all thing; you have to tailor it to the situation. This means being smart about how you prepare people and how you use different parts of the mediation itself to give them the best help.
Preparing Parties for Effective Negotiation
Getting ready for mediation is a big deal. It’s more than just showing up. Parties need to understand what mediation is, what their goals are, and what information they need to bring. A good preparation phase helps everyone feel more confident and ready to talk.
- Clarify Goals: What do parties actually want to achieve? It’s not always about winning, but about finding a workable solution.
- Information Gathering: What documents or facts are important? Making sure everyone has the right information beforehand can prevent surprises.
- Understanding the Process: Knowing the steps of mediation reduces anxiety and helps parties focus on the issues.
- Emotional Readiness: Sometimes, people need a little help to manage their feelings before they even start talking.
Preparation is key. When parties come to mediation well-prepared, they are more likely to engage constructively and reach agreements that stick. It sets a positive tone from the beginning.
Utilizing Caucuses for Targeted Support
Caucuses, those private meetings a mediator has with each party separately, are goldmines for negotiation support. This is where you can really dig into what’s going on without the other side present. It’s a safe space to explore underlying needs, test ideas, and address concerns that might be hard to bring up in joint session.
- Exploring Underlying Interests: Go beyond what people say they want (their position) to understand why they want it (their interests). This often opens up new possibilities.
- Reality Testing: Gently help parties assess the strengths and weaknesses of their case and the potential outcomes if they don’t settle. This grounds expectations.
- Developing Options: Brainstorm potential solutions with each party individually. This can help them think outside the box.
- Addressing Power Dynamics: Caucuses can be a place to discreetly manage power imbalances, making sure everyone feels heard and has a chance to speak.
Adapting Support to Diverse Dispute Types
Not all disputes are the same, so the support offered shouldn’t be either. A simple neighbor dispute needs a different approach than a complex business disagreement. The mediator needs to be flexible and adjust their support based on the nature of the conflict, the people involved, and the specific issues at hand.
- Commercial Disputes: Often require mediators with industry knowledge and a focus on preserving business relationships. Support might involve helping parties analyze financial data or understand contractual obligations.
- Family Disputes: Need a sensitive approach, focusing on communication, co-parenting, and emotional well-being. Support might involve helping parties manage difficult emotions or discuss child-related issues constructively.
- Workplace Conflicts: May require addressing power dynamics between employers and employees, focusing on communication protocols and future working relationships. Support could involve helping parties understand organizational policies or workplace norms.
The adaptability of negotiation support is what makes it so powerful in mediation.
Measuring the Value of Negotiation Support
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So, how do we actually know if negotiation support is making a difference in mediation? It’s not just about whether people shake hands at the end. We need to look at a few different things to get the full picture.
Assessing Agreement Satisfaction and Fairness
First off, are the people involved actually happy with what they agreed to? This is a big one. Negotiation support aims to help parties understand their own needs and the other side’s, which should lead to agreements that feel fair to everyone. It’s not just about getting an agreement, but getting the right agreement for the people involved.
- Participant Surveys: After mediation, asking parties to rate their satisfaction with the outcome and how fair they felt the process was. This gives direct feedback.
- Qualitative Feedback: Gathering comments about whether the agreement addresses their core concerns and if they feel heard.
- Mediator Observations: Noting if parties seem genuinely committed to the terms or if there’s lingering doubt.
A fair agreement, even if it’s not perfect for everyone, is far more likely to stick than one that feels imposed or one-sided. Negotiation support helps parties get to that ‘fair enough’ point.
Quantifying Time and Cost Efficiencies
Mediation, especially with good negotiation support, is supposed to be quicker and cheaper than going to court. We can measure this.
| Metric | Without Support | With Support | Difference |
|---|---|---|---|
| Average Duration | 6 months | 2 months | -4 months |
| Total Cost | $15,000 | $5,000 | -$10,000 |
| Number of Sessions | 5 | 3 | -2 sessions |
This table shows how negotiation support can really cut down on the time and money spent resolving disputes. It’s about making the process more efficient.
Evaluating Long-Term Relationship Preservation
Sometimes, the most important outcome isn’t just the agreement itself, but what happens to the relationship afterward. If people can still work together, be neighbors, or co-parent effectively, that’s a huge win. Negotiation support can help parties communicate better and understand each other’s perspectives, which is key for keeping relationships intact or at least civil.
- Reduced Recurrence of Disputes: Tracking if the same parties end up back in mediation or court over similar issues. Fewer repeat disputes suggest a more durable and relationship-friendly outcome.
- Communication Quality: Observing or asking parties about their ability to communicate constructively after the mediation.
- Business Continuity: In commercial settings, assessing if the business relationship can continue productively post-mediation.
Ultimately, measuring the value means looking beyond just the signature on the paper and considering the real-world impact on the people involved and their future interactions.
Wrapping Up: The Real Value of Negotiation Support in Mediation
So, we’ve talked a lot about how mediation works and why it’s a good idea. But when you add in specific tools and support for the negotiation part, things really start to click. It’s not just about having a mediator there; it’s about making sure everyone involved has what they need to actually work things out. When people feel prepared and have a clear path to discuss their needs, they’re more likely to reach agreements that actually stick. This means less hassle down the road and a better chance of moving forward, whatever the situation is. It really shows that giving people the right support during negotiation makes a big difference in how well mediation turns out.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is negotiation support in mediation?
Think of negotiation support as a helpful guide during mediation. It’s not the mediator themselves, but tools or advice that help people get ready to talk and understand each other better. It’s like having a coach to help you prepare for a big game, making sure you know the rules and have a good strategy before you even step onto the field.
How does negotiation support make mediation better?
Negotiation support helps by making sure everyone involved is prepared and understands what’s happening. This means people can talk more clearly, share their real needs (not just what they demand), and come up with solutions that actually work for everyone. When people are better prepared, they’re more likely to reach a fair agreement that they’ll stick to.
Is negotiation support the same as mediation?
No, they are different but work together. Mediation is the actual process where a neutral person helps people talk and resolve their issues. Negotiation support is the help you get *before* or *during* mediation to make your negotiation skills stronger and your understanding clearer. The mediator guides the overall process, while support helps you be a better negotiator within that process.
What are the main benefits of using negotiation support?
The biggest benefits are reaching better agreements that are clearer and more likely to last. It helps people understand what they truly want and need, not just what they initially ask for. This often leads to solutions that make everyone happier and reduces the chances of future arguments. Plus, it can save time and money compared to going to court.
How does negotiation support help create better agreements?
It helps by making sure everyone understands the agreement fully. Support can help clarify the details, make sure promises are realistic, and ensure both sides feel good about what they’re agreeing to. This way, the agreement isn’t just written down, but truly understood and accepted by everyone involved.
Can negotiation support help when there’s a big difference in power between people?
Yes, it can be very helpful. Negotiation support can help the person with less power feel more confident and prepared. It can also help the mediator understand and manage these differences, ensuring everyone gets a fair chance to speak and be heard. The goal is to level the playing field a bit so the discussion is more balanced.
What happens if people can’t agree even with negotiation support?
Sometimes, even with help, people still can’t find common ground. In these cases, the mediation might not end in a full agreement. However, the process itself can still be valuable. It might help people understand the other side better, clarify the issues, or at least realize what they *can’t* agree on. The support helps make this process as productive as possible, even if a full settlement isn’t reached.
How does negotiation support make sure people actually follow the agreement?
When people have support, they are more involved in creating the agreement. They understand it better and feel like they own it. This sense of ownership makes them much more likely to stick to the terms. It’s like agreeing to do chores because you helped decide which chores to do, rather than just being told what to do.
