How to Find a Mediator: A Comprehensive Guide

Dealing with disagreements can be tough. Sometimes, talking it out just isn’t enough, and you need a neutral person to help guide the conversation. That’s where mediation comes in. But figuring out how to find a mediator who’s a good fit for your specific situation can feel like a puzzle. We’ve put together this guide to help you understand the process and find the right professional to help you sort things out.

Key Takeaways

Mediation is a way to solve problems with a neutral helper, different from going to court.
There are different kinds of mediation, like for families, workplaces, or business deals.
A mediator helps you talk and find your own solutions, they don’t make decisions for you.
Getting ready for mediation means gathering your thoughts and any papers you might need.
Knowing how to find a mediator involves looking at their experience and if they fit your type of dispute.

Understanding Mediation’s Role in Dispute Resolution

When we find ourselves in a disagreement, whether it’s a small spat or a major conflict, the idea of sorting it out can feel overwhelming. We often think of the usual routes: arguing it out, letting it slide, or maybe even heading to court. But there’s another path, one that’s gaining a lot of traction because it works pretty well for a lot of people: mediation. It’s basically a way to talk through problems with a little help from someone who doesn’t take sides.

What Constitutes Mediation?

At its core, mediation is a process where two or more people (or groups) who are having a dispute get together with a neutral third person, the mediator. This mediator isn’t there to make decisions for us, like a judge would. Instead, their job is to help us talk to each other more effectively. They guide the conversation, make sure everyone gets a chance to speak, and help us understand what the other person is really trying to say. The whole point is for us, the people in the dispute, to come up with our own solutions. It’s voluntary, meaning we have to agree to do it, and what we say in the room usually stays in the room, which helps people feel more comfortable sharing.

Key Principles Guiding the Process

There are a few main ideas that make mediation work. First, it’s voluntary. We can leave if we feel it’s not working for us. Second, the mediator is neutral. They don’t pick favorites or have any personal stake in who ‘wins.’ Third, it’s confidential. This is a big one because it means we can be more open without worrying that our words will be used against us later. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we have self-determination. This means we are the ones who decide the outcome. The mediator helps us get there, but the final agreement is ours.

Mediation is about finding common ground, not about assigning blame. It shifts the focus from who was right or wrong to how we can move forward in a way that works for everyone involved.

Benefits of Choosing Mediation

So, why pick mediation over other methods? For starters, it’s usually a lot quicker and cheaper than going to court. Think about the legal fees and the time spent waiting for court dates – mediation often bypasses all of that. It also tends to be less stressful because it’s not an adversarial battle. We can talk things out in a more relaxed setting. Plus, because we’re creating our own solutions, they often fit our specific situation much better than a judge’s ruling might. This can be especially helpful if we need to continue interacting with the other party, like in family or workplace disputes, because it can help preserve relationships.

Here are some of the main advantages we often see:

Cost Savings: Significantly less expensive than litigation.
Time Efficiency: Resolutions are typically reached much faster.
Relationship Preservation: Helps maintain or repair connections between parties.
Flexible Solutions: Allows for creative outcomes tailored to specific needs.
Confidentiality: Discussions remain private, protecting sensitive information.

Identifying the Right Type of Mediation for Your Needs

When we’re facing a disagreement, it’s easy to think there’s only one way to sort things out, usually involving lawyers and courtrooms. But mediation offers a bunch of different paths, and picking the right one can make all the difference in how smoothly things go and what kind of result we get. It’s not a one-size-fits-all deal; different situations call for different approaches.

Navigating Family Mediation Dynamics

When family matters get complicated, like during a divorce or when figuring out custody arrangements, family mediation is often the way to go. The main goal here is to help everyone involved talk through the tough stuff in a way that’s as calm as possible, especially when kids are part of the picture. We’re talking about sorting out things like dividing property, setting up child support, and creating parenting plans that work for everyone. It’s a space where we can try to keep relationships intact, or at least as civil as they can be, which is super important when you’re dealing with ongoing family connections.

Divorce and Separation: Working out the terms of ending a marriage.
Child Custody and Visitation: Deciding how children will spend time with each parent.
Parenting Plans: Creating a roadmap for raising children post-separation.
Financial Support: Determining child support and spousal support payments.

Family mediation really shines when the emotional stakes are high. It provides a structured yet supportive environment to discuss sensitive issues, aiming for solutions that consider the well-being of all family members, particularly children.

Resolving Workplace Conflicts Through Mediation

Workplace disputes can really mess with productivity and morale. Mediation in this setting is all about helping colleagues or teams sort out disagreements before they blow up. This could be anything from personality clashes to issues over workload or communication breakdowns. The mediator steps in to help everyone understand each other’s viewpoints and find common ground, aiming to get things back to a functional working relationship.

Interpersonal Conflicts: Addressing disagreements between individual employees.
Team Disputes: Resolving issues affecting a whole group or department.
Communication Breakdowns: Improving how people talk and work together.
Policy or Procedure Disagreements: Clarifying and resolving issues related to workplace rules.

Commercial Mediation for Business Disputes

When businesses have disagreements, whether it’s over a contract, a partnership, or a client issue, commercial mediation can be a lifesaver. It’s designed to handle these kinds of conflicts efficiently, often saving businesses a lot of time and money compared to going to court. The focus is on finding practical solutions that keep the business running smoothly and, ideally, preserve those important business relationships. Confidentiality is a big deal here, protecting sensitive company information.

Contract Disputes: Resolving issues when one party feels the other hasn’t met their obligations.
Partnership Disagreements: Sorting out issues between business partners.
Intellectual Property Conflicts: Addressing disputes over patents, trademarks, or copyrights.
Customer or Supplier Issues: Mediating problems with clients or vendors.

Civil Mediation for Broader Disagreements

Civil mediation is a catch-all for many other types of disputes that don’t fit neatly into the family or business categories. Think of neighbor disputes, landlord-tenant issues, or disagreements over property. It’s a flexible process that allows parties to come up with creative solutions that a court might not even consider. Many civil cases, especially smaller ones, can be resolved this way, often with a high success rate.

Property Disputes: Resolving issues related to boundaries, ownership, or use of property.
Landlord-Tenant Issues: Mediating disagreements between renters and property owners.
Personal Injury Claims: Discussing settlements for injuries, often involving insurance.
Consumer Complaints: Addressing disputes between individuals and businesses over goods or services.

Choosing the right type of mediation means we’re setting ourselves up for a more productive conversation and a better chance of reaching an agreement that actually works for us.

The Stages of a Typical Mediation Process

When we decide to try mediation, it’s helpful to know what to expect. The process usually follows a set path, designed to help us move from conflict to resolution in an organized way. It’s not just a free-for-all chat; there’s a structure that makes it work.

Initial Preparation and Agreement

Before we even sit down with the mediator, there’s some groundwork. First, we all need to agree to try mediation. This usually involves signing a simple agreement that outlines the basic rules, like keeping things confidential and that the mediator is neutral. We also pick a mediator we feel comfortable with. Sometimes, we might have a quick chat with the mediator beforehand to make sure it’s a good fit for our situation. This stage is all about setting the stage for a productive session.

Opening Statements and Issue Identification

Once we’re all in the room (or on the video call), the mediator will start by explaining the process again and setting some ground rules for communication. Then, each of us gets a chance to talk. This is our opportunity to explain our perspective on the problem, what’s important to us, and what we hope to achieve. The mediator listens carefully, not to judge, but to understand. The goal here is for everyone to feel heard and for the mediator to start identifying the main issues we need to work through.

Exploration and Negotiation Strategies

This is where the real work happens. After we’ve both had our say, the mediator helps us dig a bit deeper. We move beyond just stating what we want (our positions) and start talking about why we want it (our interests). The mediator might ask questions to help us see things from a different angle or to brainstorm possible solutions we hadn’t considered. They might also meet with each of us privately in what’s called a "caucus." This is a safe space to talk more openly about our concerns and explore options without the other person present. It’s a way to test ideas and see what might be acceptable.

Formalizing the Agreement

If we’re able to reach an agreement, the mediator helps us put it down on paper. This isn’t just a handshake deal; it’s a written document that clearly states what we’ve agreed to. The mediator usually helps draft this, making sure the terms are specific and understandable. We’ll both review it carefully, and once we’re happy, we sign it. This agreement then becomes our roadmap for moving forward. It’s important that this document is clear so there are no misunderstandings later on.

The entire process is designed to be flexible, allowing us to address the specific needs of our dispute. While there’s a general flow, a skilled mediator can adapt the stages to best suit the situation at hand, always aiming for a fair and lasting resolution.

Recognizing the Roles Within Mediation

When we go into mediation, it’s helpful to know who’s who and what everyone’s job is. It’s not just about the people who are arguing; there are other key players that make the process work.

The Mediator’s Function as a Neutral Facilitator

The mediator is the person in charge of keeping things moving forward, but they don’t take sides. Think of them as a guide or a referee, but one who helps everyone score. Their main goal is to help us talk to each other and find a way to solve our problem. They don’t decide who’s right or wrong, and they don’t tell us what to do. Instead, they listen to everyone, ask questions to make sure we understand each other, and help us explore different ideas for a solution. They create a safe space where we can all speak freely without fear of judgment. Their neutrality is the bedrock of the entire process.

Understanding Participant Responsibilities

As participants in mediation, we have a big role to play. It’s not a passive experience. We need to show up ready to talk and listen. This means:

Being prepared to share our side of the story and our needs.
Listening respectfully to the other person’s perspective, even if we don’t agree with it.
Being open to exploring different solutions and compromises.
Participating actively in the discussions and negotiations.

We are the ones who ultimately decide the outcome. The mediator can help us get there, but the decisions are ours to make.

The Role of Legal Counsel or Advisors

Sometimes, we might bring lawyers or other advisors with us to mediation. This is totally optional, but it can be really helpful, especially if the issues are complicated or involve legal matters. Our legal counsel is there to give us advice about our rights and the law, help us understand the implications of any proposed agreement, and make sure we’re making informed decisions. They are there to support us, but they don’t take over the negotiation. The mediator remains neutral, and we, the participants, are still the ones making the final calls. It’s a team effort, with everyone playing their part to help us reach a resolution.

Essential Mediation Skills and Techniques

When we go into mediation, it’s not just about showing up. The mediator has a whole toolkit of skills they use to help us work through our issues. Understanding these techniques can make us feel more prepared and help us get the most out of the process. It’s about making sure our conversations stay productive, even when things get tough.

The Power of Active Listening

This is more than just hearing the other person speak. Active listening means really paying attention to what they’re saying, both with their words and their body language. It’s about showing them we’re engaged and trying to understand their perspective. We can do this by nodding, making eye contact, and summarizing what we think they’ve said to make sure we’ve got it right. It helps build trust and shows respect, which is a big deal when we’re trying to resolve a conflict.

Effective Reframing of Issues

Sometimes, the way we state a problem can make it sound worse than it is. Mediators are really good at reframing. This means they take a negative or accusatory statement and rephrase it in a more neutral or positive way. For example, instead of "He never listens to me!", a mediator might reframe it as "You’re looking for a way to ensure your concerns are heard and understood." This shift can open up new possibilities for discussion and problem-solving, moving us away from blame and towards solutions.

Managing Emotions for Productive Dialogue

Let’s be honest, mediation can bring up a lot of feelings. Anger, frustration, sadness – they’re all part of it. A skilled mediator helps us manage these emotions so they don’t derail the conversation. They create a safe space where we can express ourselves without fear of judgment. They might use techniques like taking short breaks, encouraging deep breaths, or acknowledging the emotions being expressed. The goal is to keep the discussion focused on the issues at hand, rather than getting lost in emotional reactions.

Focusing on Interests Over Positions

This is a big one. Often, we go into mediation with a clear idea of what we want (our position), like "I want the house." But the mediator helps us explore why we want it (our interests), such as "I want a stable home for my children" or "I need financial security." When we understand each other’s underlying interests, we can find creative solutions that satisfy both parties, even if they don’t involve getting exactly what we initially demanded. It’s about finding common ground and meeting underlying needs.

Understanding these techniques isn’t about becoming a mediator yourself, but about recognizing what’s happening and how it’s designed to help us reach an agreement. It’s a collaborative effort, and knowing the tools can make us feel more confident and capable throughout the process.

Preparing Effectively for Your Mediation Session

Getting ready for mediation is a big part of making sure it goes well. We want to walk into that room feeling as prepared as possible, not just with our thoughts in order, but with all the necessary bits and pieces. It’s about setting ourselves up for success, really.

Gathering Necessary Documentation

Think of this as your "show and tell" for mediation. You’ll want to bring anything that backs up your side of things or helps explain the situation clearly. This isn’t about overwhelming anyone, but about having the facts at your fingertips. We’re talking about things like:

Relevant contracts or agreements
Financial records (bank statements, invoices, receipts)
Correspondence (emails, letters) that show the history of the dispute
Photographs or videos if they illustrate a key point
Any previous legal documents or court orders related to the matter

It’s a good idea to organize these items beforehand. Maybe a binder or a folder, with clear labels. This way, if the mediator or the other party asks for something specific, you can find it quickly without fumbling around. We don’t want to waste precious mediation time searching for a misplaced document.

Preparing Emotionally for the Discussion

This can be the trickiest part. Mediation often brings up strong feelings, and that’s okay. But we need to find a way to manage those emotions so they don’t derail the process. It helps to think about what’s really bothering you, beyond just the surface-level arguments. What are your underlying needs or concerns?

We need to remember that mediation is a chance to talk things through, not to win an argument. Approaching it with a mindset focused on finding a solution, rather than proving you’re right, can make a huge difference in how productive the session feels.

Try to anticipate what the other person might say or how they might react. Thinking about this ahead of time can help you stay calmer when it actually happens. Deep breaths, taking a short break if needed – these are all valid strategies.

Setting Clear Objectives for the Outcome

What do we actually want to achieve by the end of this mediation? It’s not just about ending the dispute; it’s about what a good resolution looks like for us. We should think about our ideal outcome, but also what we consider a realistic and acceptable compromise.

What are our non-negotiables?
What are we willing to give on?
What would a successful resolution look like in practical terms?

Having these objectives in mind helps us stay focused during the negotiation. It gives us a target to aim for, making it easier to evaluate the proposals that come up. It’s about knowing what we’re aiming for, so we don’t get sidetracked by minor points or emotional reactions.

Evaluating Mediation Outcomes and Agreements

So, we’ve gone through the whole mediation process, and hopefully, we’ve reached an agreement. That’s the big win, right? But what happens next? It’s not just about shaking hands and walking away. We need to make sure what we agreed on is solid and actually means something.

Understanding Settlement Agreements

This is the document that spells out exactly what we’ve decided. It’s not just a casual note; it’s a formal record. Think of it as the blueprint for how things will move forward. It should clearly state who is doing what, when, and how. We want to avoid any "he said, she said" down the line, so clarity here is super important. It covers all the points we discussed and resolved during our sessions.

Ensuring the Enforceability of Terms

Okay, so we have our agreement. But can we actually make someone stick to it? That’s where enforceability comes in. If the agreement is written correctly and meets legal standards, it can be treated like a contract. This means if someone doesn’t follow through, we might have legal options. We need to be sure that the terms we agreed to are practical and can be legally upheld. Sometimes, this means getting a judge to sign off on it, especially if it’s part of a court case.

Next Steps After Reaching a Resolution

Once the agreement is signed and we’re confident it’s enforceable, what’s the actual plan? This involves putting the agreement into action. It might mean:

Making payments as agreed.
Completing specific tasks or actions.
Changing certain behaviors or practices.
Filing the agreement with the relevant court or authority, if required.
Communicating the resolution to any affected third parties.

It’s always a good idea to have a legal professional review the settlement agreement before signing, especially if the dispute involves significant assets or complex issues. They can spot potential problems we might miss and help make sure the agreement truly protects our interests.

Sometimes, even after mediation, there might be a need for follow-up or adjustments. The goal is to move forward constructively, and a well-defined agreement is the foundation for that.

Comparing Mediation to Other Dispute Resolution Methods

When we’re facing a disagreement, it’s good to know what our options are. Mediation is one way to sort things out, but it’s not the only one. We’ve talked about how mediation works, but how does it stack up against other common methods like arbitration, litigation, and just plain negotiation?

Mediation Versus Arbitration

Think of arbitration as a more formal process, kind of like a private court. An arbitrator, or a panel of them, listens to both sides and then makes a decision. The key difference is that arbitration is binding – the arbitrator’s decision is final and legally enforceable. Mediation, on the other hand, is all about us working together with a mediator to find our own solution. The mediator doesn’t decide anything; they just help us talk and reach an agreement ourselves. If we can’t agree, we haven’t lost anything, and we can still explore other options.

Mediation Versus Litigation

Litigation is what most people think of when they hear ‘legal dispute’ – it’s going to court. This is usually a very adversarial process. Lawyers present arguments, evidence is examined, and a judge or jury makes a decision. It can be lengthy, expensive, and often damages relationships beyond repair. Mediation aims to be the opposite: cooperative, less formal, and focused on finding solutions that work for everyone involved, rather than winning or losing.

Mediation Versus Traditional Negotiation

We’ve probably all done some form of negotiation before. It’s just two or more parties talking to try and reach a deal. Mediation takes this a step further by bringing in a neutral third party – the mediator. This person doesn’t take sides but helps us communicate more effectively. They can help us understand each other’s points of view, manage emotions, and brainstorm options we might not have thought of on our own. Having a mediator can be incredibly helpful when direct negotiation has broken down or when emotions are running high.

Here’s a quick look at how they compare:

Feature	Mediation	Arbitration	Litigation	Negotiation (Direct)
Decision Maker	Parties themselves	Arbitrator(s)	Judge or Jury	Parties themselves
Outcome	Mutually agreed-upon settlement	Binding decision	Binding court judgment	Mutually agreed-upon settlement
Process	Collaborative, facilitative	Adversarial, quasi-judicial	Adversarial, formal legal process	Direct discussion
Cost	Generally lower	Moderate to high	High	Low
Speed	Generally faster	Faster than litigation	Slow	Variable, can be fast or slow
Relationship	Aims to preserve or improve	Can be strained	Often severely damaged	Can be strained or preserved
Confidentiality	High	High	Public record	High

Addressing Special Circumstances in Mediation

Sometimes, mediation can feel a bit tricky. We’ve all been in situations where things just aren’t straightforward, and disputes are no different. There are a few common scenarios that can make the mediation process more challenging, but thankfully, mediators are trained to handle them. Let’s talk about some of these special circumstances.

Managing High-Conflict Personalities

Dealing with someone who seems determined to argue or be difficult can be exhausting. High-conflict personalities often engage in blaming, exaggeration, or even outright hostility. In mediation, this can look like constant interruptions, personal attacks, or an unwillingness to budge on any point. The mediator’s job here is to keep the conversation focused and respectful, even when emotions are running high. They’ll use techniques like active listening to acknowledge feelings without validating aggressive behavior, and they might reframe accusations into statements about needs or concerns. Sometimes, they’ll meet with each person separately (this is called caucusing) to help them calm down and think more clearly about what they really want to achieve.

Setting Ground Rules: Before starting, clear rules about respectful communication are established. Violations might lead to a brief pause or a private meeting.
Focusing on Interests: Mediators steer the conversation away from blame and towards what each person actually needs or wants.
Using Caucuses: Private meetings allow individuals to express themselves freely without the other party present, helping to de-escalate tension.

When one party is particularly difficult, the mediator acts as a buffer, absorbing some of the intensity and redirecting the energy towards problem-solving. It’s about managing the dynamic, not necessarily changing the personality.

Addressing Power Imbalances

It’s not uncommon for one person in a dispute to have more influence, resources, or information than the other. This could be a boss versus an employee, a large company versus a small business owner, or even someone with more confidence versus someone who is shy. This imbalance can make it hard for the less powerful person to speak up or negotiate fairly. Mediators are trained to spot these situations and work to level the playing field.

Ensuring Equal Voice: The mediator will make sure both parties have adequate time to speak and be heard.
Providing Information: If one party lacks crucial information, the mediator might suggest ways to get it or explain its relevance.
Reality Testing: Mediators help the less powerful party understand their options and the potential outcomes if mediation doesn’t succeed.

When Mediation May Not Be Appropriate

While mediation is a fantastic tool for many situations, it’s not a magic bullet for everything. There are times when it’s simply not the right fit, or it might even be unsafe. For instance, if there’s a history of domestic violence where one person feels threatened or controlled, mediation might not be suitable. In such cases, the safety and well-being of the individuals are the top priority. Similarly, if one party is completely unwilling to participate in good faith or if there’s a significant legal issue that requires a judge’s ruling, other methods might be better. It’s always important to discuss these concerns openly with the mediator or the organization referring you to mediation.

Leveraging Resources for Mediation Success

Utilizing Mediation Checklists

Before we jump into the actual mediation session, it’s a good idea to get organized. We’ve found that using a checklist can really help us stay on track. It’s like a roadmap for preparing ourselves and making sure we don’t miss anything important. These checklists usually cover things like gathering all the relevant documents, thinking about what we want to achieve, and even preparing ourselves emotionally for the discussion. They’re pretty straightforward and can make a big difference in how smoothly things go.

Understanding Key Mediation Terminology

Sometimes, the language used in mediation can feel a bit like a foreign language. We’ve put together a quick rundown of some common terms we might hear. Knowing what these mean can help us feel more comfortable and participate more effectively. Understanding terms like ‘caucus,’ ‘reframing,’ and ‘self-determination’ can really clarify the process.

Caucus: A private meeting between the mediator and one party. This is a chance to talk more openly without the other side present.
Reframing: The mediator helps restate an issue or statement in a more neutral or constructive way.
Self-Determination: The principle that parties have the right to decide the outcome of their dispute themselves.
Opening Statement: The initial remarks made by each party and the mediator to set the stage.
Agreement in Principle: A preliminary agreement on key points, which will be formalized later.

Mediation is a process where we, the parties, work with a neutral person to find our own solutions. It’s not about someone telling us what to do, but about us figuring it out together with a little help.

Exploring Sample Agreement Templates

If we’re lucky enough to reach an agreement during mediation, we’ll need to write it down. Having a sample agreement template can be super helpful. It gives us a structure to follow and makes sure we cover all the necessary parts. These templates often include sections for:

Identifying the parties involved.
Clearly stating the terms of the agreement.
Outlining any actions each party needs to take.
Specifying timelines for those actions.
Including clauses about confidentiality and how the agreement will be enforced.

Having a template doesn’t mean we have to stick to it rigidly, but it provides a solid starting point for drafting our own settlement. It helps ensure that what we agree on is clear, specific, and something we can both live with.

Wrapping Things Up

So, we’ve gone over a lot of ground about finding a mediator. It might seem like a big task at first, but remember, you’re not alone in this. Think about what kind of help you need, where to look, and what questions to ask. We’ve shared some ideas on how to find someone who fits your situation, whether it’s for family stuff, work issues, or business disagreements. The main thing is to do a little homework. It really can make a difference in getting a good outcome. We hope this guide helps you feel more confident as you start your search. Good luck!

Frequently Asked Questions

What exactly is mediation, and how does it help us solve problems?

Think of mediation as a guided chat where a neutral person, the mediator, helps us talk through our disagreements. They don’t take sides or make decisions for us. Instead, they help us understand each other better and find solutions that work for everyone involved. It’s all about talking it out and reaching an agreement ourselves.

When should we think about using mediation instead of going to court?

Mediation is a great option when we want to solve a problem without a big, expensive fight. It’s usually faster and way cheaper than court. Plus, it helps us keep our relationships intact, which is super important if we have to keep interacting, like with family or business partners.

What are the main differences between mediation and other ways to settle disputes, like arbitration or court?

In court, a judge makes the final call after a lot of back-and-forth. With arbitration, an arbitrator also decides, and it’s usually binding. Mediation is different because we, the people in the dispute, make the final decisions with the mediator’s help. It’s much more cooperative and less about winning or losing.

How do we find a mediator who’s a good fit for our situation?

Finding the right mediator is key! We can ask people we trust for recommendations, check with local community dispute centers, or look for mediators who specialize in the type of problem we’re having, like family or business issues. It’s good to chat with a few to see who we feel most comfortable with.

What should we expect to do to get ready for a mediation session?

Getting ready means thinking about what we really want to achieve and what’s most important to us. We should also gather any papers or information that might be helpful during the discussion. Mentally preparing to listen and talk calmly is also a big part of it.

What’s the mediator’s job during the session?

The mediator’s main job is to keep the conversation moving smoothly and fairly. They help us understand each other’s viewpoints, manage strong emotions, and explore different ideas. They’re like a traffic cop for our discussion, making sure everyone gets a chance to speak and that we stay focused on finding solutions.

What happens if we reach an agreement in mediation?

Hooray! If we agree on something, the mediator helps us write it all down clearly. This written agreement is super important because it becomes our official plan. We both sign it, and it can often be made legally binding, meaning we both have to stick to it.

Are there times when mediation might not be the best choice for us?

Sometimes, mediation isn’t the right path. If there’s a lot of abuse or one person has way more power and is using it unfairly, it might be safer to go another route. Also, if someone absolutely refuses to participate or negotiate in good faith, mediation probably won’t work.