Contracts are the backbone of business, but sometimes things go wrong. When disagreements pop up, heading straight to court can be costly and time-consuming. That’s where mediation comes in. It’s a way to sort things out with a neutral helper, aiming for a solution everyone can live with. This article breaks down how contract dispute mediation works and why it might be the best route for your business.
Key Takeaways
- Contract dispute mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party helps parties resolve disagreements about contract terms, performance, or payment.
- The core principles of mediation include neutrality, voluntary participation, confidentiality, and party self-determination, creating a safe space for open discussion.
- A mediator’s role is to facilitate communication, clarify issues, and guide parties toward their own mutually agreeable solutions, not to impose a decision.
- Mediation offers significant benefits over litigation, such as faster resolution times, reduced costs, and the preservation of business relationships.
- While effective for many contract disagreements, mediation may not be suitable in situations with severe power imbalances or where legal adjudication is strictly necessary.
Understanding Contract Dispute Mediation
Defining Contract Dispute Mediation
Contract dispute mediation is a way to sort out disagreements that come up when people or businesses have a contract between them. It’s not like going to court where a judge makes a decision. Instead, a neutral person, called a mediator, helps the people involved talk things through and find their own solution. The main goal is to help parties reach an agreement that works for everyone involved. This process is voluntary, meaning no one is forced to participate, and it’s kept private. It’s a way to resolve issues without the high costs and lengthy timelines often associated with legal battles.
The Scope of Contractual Disagreements
Contracts can cover a lot of ground, and disagreements can pop up in many different areas. Think about it: a contract is basically a promise between two or more parties. When one party feels the other isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, that’s where disputes start. This could be about:
- Performance: Did someone deliver what they promised, when they promised it?
- Payment: Are the invoices correct? Was payment made on time and in the right amount?
- Scope of Work: Was the job done as described in the contract, or did it go beyond or fall short?
- Interpretation: What does a specific clause in the contract actually mean? Sometimes words can be tricky.
These issues can range from minor misunderstandings to major problems that threaten the entire deal. Mediation can be a good fit for most of these, as long as both sides are willing to talk.
Why Contract Mediation Is Essential
So, why bother with mediation when you could just sue? Well, for starters, it’s usually much faster and cheaper than going to court. Litigation can drag on for months, even years, and the legal fees can pile up quickly. Mediation, on the other hand, can often be completed in a few sessions. Plus, it’s a private process, which is great if you don’t want your business dealings aired in public.
Mediation allows parties to maintain control over the outcome of their dispute. Instead of a judge or jury deciding the fate of their contract, the parties themselves craft a resolution. This self-determination often leads to more creative and sustainable agreements because they are tailored to the specific needs and interests of those involved.
It also helps keep business relationships intact. When you fight in court, it’s often a win-lose situation that can leave both sides feeling resentful. Mediation focuses on finding common ground and can help preserve the working relationship for future dealings. It’s a more collaborative approach that prioritizes practical solutions over adversarial battles.
The Core Principles of Effective Mediation
Mediation works because it’s built on a few key ideas that help people talk things out. It’s not about winning or losing, but about finding a way forward that works for everyone involved. These principles are what make the whole process tick.
Neutrality and Impartiality in Practice
The person leading the mediation, the mediator, has to stay completely neutral. This means they don’t take sides. They aren’t there to judge who’s right or wrong, or to push one person’s agenda over the other’s. Think of them as a referee who just wants to make sure the game is played fairly and that everyone gets a chance to speak. They have no personal stake in the outcome, which is super important for building trust. If parties feel the mediator is favoring one side, the whole process can fall apart pretty quickly. It’s all about creating a level playing field where both sides feel heard and respected.
The Importance of Voluntary Participation
One of the biggest things about mediation is that people usually choose to be there. Even if a court suggests it, the actual decision to participate and work towards a solution is up to the parties. This voluntary aspect is key because it means people are generally more open to finding solutions. When you’re forced into something, you tend to dig your heels in. But when you decide to show up and engage, you’re already halfway to resolving the issue. You also have the power to walk away if you feel it’s not working, which gives you a sense of control.
Upholding Confidentiality for Open Dialogue
Everything that’s said during mediation is kept private. This is a really big deal. Knowing that your conversations won’t be used against you later in court or shared with others encourages people to be more open and honest. You can talk about your concerns, your fears, and your bottom line without worrying that those statements will become evidence. This privacy is what allows for the kind of frank discussions needed to actually solve problems, rather than just argue positions.
Ensuring Party Self-Determination
Ultimately, the people in the dispute are the ones who decide the outcome. The mediator helps them get there, but they don’t make the decision for them. This principle, called self-determination, means that the solutions are crafted by the parties themselves. They know their situation best, and they’re the ones who have to live with the agreement. This makes the solutions more practical and more likely to be followed because the parties themselves created them. It’s about empowering people to take charge of their own resolutions.
The Mediator’s Role in Resolving Disputes
Facilitating Constructive Communication
The mediator’s primary job is to get people talking to each other again, but in a way that actually helps. Think of them as a traffic director for difficult conversations. They set the stage for respectful dialogue, making sure everyone gets a chance to speak without being interrupted or attacked. This isn’t just about letting off steam; it’s about creating an environment where parties can actually hear what the other side is saying, not just what they expect to hear. They might use techniques like paraphrasing to ensure understanding or asking open-ended questions to encourage more detailed explanations. The goal is to move from shouting matches to actual exchanges of information and feelings.
Clarifying Issues and Underlying Interests
Often, what people say they want (their position) isn’t the same as what they actually need or care about (their interests). A mediator is skilled at digging a little deeper. They’ll help parties move beyond their initial demands to uncover the real reasons behind them. For example, someone demanding a specific payment date might actually be concerned about cash flow predictability. By identifying these underlying interests, the mediator opens up more possibilities for creative solutions that satisfy everyone’s core needs, not just their stated demands. This is where the real problem-solving begins.
Guiding Parties Toward Agreement
Once communication is flowing and interests are clearer, the mediator helps bridge the gap between the parties. They don’t make decisions for anyone, but they do guide the process of finding common ground. This can involve helping parties brainstorm potential solutions, evaluating the practicality of different options, and gently reality-testing their expectations. Sometimes, a mediator will meet with each party separately in private sessions, called caucuses, to explore sensitive issues or test settlement ideas without the pressure of the other party being present. The ultimate aim is to help the parties themselves craft a resolution they can both live with and commit to.
Navigating the Mediation Process
So, you’ve decided mediation is the way to go for your contract dispute. That’s a smart move, but what actually happens during a mediation session? It’s not just sitting in a room and hoping for the best. There’s a structure to it, and understanding that structure can make a big difference in how smoothly things go.
Preparation for Mediation Sessions
Before you even step into the mediation room, or log into the video call, there’s some groundwork to be done. This isn’t just about showing up; it’s about showing up ready. Your mediator will likely guide you through this, but it’s good to know what to expect. Think of it as getting your ducks in a row before a big meeting.
- Gathering Your Thoughts and Documents: You’ll need to collect all the relevant paperwork related to the contract and the dispute. This includes the contract itself, any amendments, correspondence, invoices, and anything else that shows what happened. It’s also a good time to jot down your main points and what you hope to achieve.
- Understanding Your Goals: What does a successful outcome look like for you? Is it getting paid, completing a project, or simply moving on? Being clear on your objectives helps you stay focused.
- Knowing the Mediator’s Role: Remember, the mediator isn’t a judge. They’re there to help you and the other party talk things through and find your own solution. They don’t take sides and they don’t make decisions for you.
The preparation phase is where you set the stage for a productive conversation. It’s about being organized and clear on what you want to accomplish, which makes the actual mediation much more effective.
Stages of a Typical Mediation
While every mediation is a bit different, most follow a general path. It’s designed to move things along in a structured way.
- Opening: The mediator will start by welcoming everyone, explaining their role, and outlining the ground rules for the session. This is also when they’ll confirm that everyone understands the process and agrees to participate voluntarily and confidentially.
- Joint Session: Both parties usually get a chance to explain their perspective on the dispute without interruption. This is your opportunity to share your side of the story and what’s important to you.
- Exploration and Negotiation: After everyone has had a chance to speak, the mediator will help you both explore the issues more deeply. This is where you start talking about potential solutions and negotiating terms.
- Agreement: If you reach a resolution, the mediator will help you put it into writing. This settlement agreement then becomes the official outcome of your mediation.
The Use of Private Caucuses
Sometimes, talking things out in the same room gets a bit stuck. That’s where private caucuses come in. A caucus is simply a private meeting between the mediator and one party. The mediator will often meet with each side separately, away from the other party.
- Why Use Caucuses? They provide a safe space to discuss sensitive issues, explore underlying interests, and consider options that might be difficult to bring up in joint session. It’s also a chance for the mediator to reality-test proposals and help parties think through potential outcomes.
- Confidentiality is Key: What you say in a caucus stays with the mediator, unless you give them permission to share it with the other party. This confidentiality is super important for open communication.
- Shuttle Diplomacy: Sometimes, the mediator might go back and forth between the parties, carrying messages and proposals. This is called shuttle diplomacy and can be very effective when direct communication is challenging.
Comparing Mediation to Other Resolution Methods
When you’re facing a contract dispute, it’s not just a one-size-fits-all situation. There are several paths you can take to find a resolution, and each has its own set of characteristics. Understanding these differences can help you pick the method that best suits your needs. Let’s look at how mediation stacks up against other common approaches.
Mediation Versus Litigation: Key Distinctions
Litigation, the formal court process, is often seen as the default for resolving disputes. However, it’s quite different from mediation. Litigation is typically adversarial, meaning parties are pitted against each other. The proceedings are public, and a judge or jury makes the final decision based on strict rules of evidence. This can be a lengthy and expensive road, often taking years and costing a significant amount in legal fees and court costs. The outcome is decided by an external authority, not by the parties themselves.
Mediation, on the other hand, is a collaborative process. It’s voluntary, confidential, and the parties themselves control the outcome. Because it’s less formal and doesn’t involve the extensive procedures of court, it’s usually much faster and more cost-effective. It focuses on helping parties communicate and find their own solutions, which can be more creative and tailored than what a court might order.
| Feature | Mediation | Litigation |
|---|---|---|
| Process | Collaborative, facilitated negotiation | Adversarial, court-based |
| Control | Parties decide the outcome | Judge or jury decides the outcome |
| Confidentiality | High; discussions are private | Low; proceedings are public |
| Time | Generally faster | Often lengthy, can take years |
| Cost | Typically lower | Often very high |
| Relationship | Aims to preserve relationships | Can damage or end relationships |
Mediation Versus Arbitration: Understanding Differences
Arbitration is another alternative to court, and it shares some similarities with mediation, like being a private process. However, the core difference lies in the outcome. In arbitration, a neutral third party, the arbitrator, hears both sides and then makes a binding decision. Think of it as a private court system. While it’s usually faster and less formal than litigation, it still involves a third party imposing a decision.
Mediation, as we’ve discussed, is about the parties reaching their own agreement. The mediator doesn’t decide who is right or wrong; they help the parties communicate and negotiate. This means that in mediation, you retain control over the final resolution, whereas in arbitration, that control is handed over to the arbitrator. Arbitration can be a good option if you want a binding decision without going to court, but if maintaining control over the outcome is important, mediation is the better choice.
Mediation Versus Negotiation: Added Value
Negotiation is the most basic form of dispute resolution – it’s simply parties talking to each other to reach an agreement. You might even try to negotiate directly with the other party before considering mediation. While direct negotiation can be effective, it often runs into challenges. Power imbalances can make one party feel pressured, communication can break down, and emotions can get in the way of finding practical solutions.
This is where mediation adds significant value. A trained, neutral mediator acts as a facilitator. They help ensure that both parties have a chance to speak and be heard, manage the emotional aspects of the discussion, and guide the conversation toward productive problem-solving. The mediator doesn’t take sides but helps the parties overcome the common hurdles that can derail direct negotiation. So, while negotiation is the act of talking, mediation is a structured and facilitated process that makes that talking more effective and likely to lead to a satisfactory agreement.
Benefits of Choosing Contract Mediation
When you’re caught in a contract dispute, the idea of sorting it out can feel overwhelming. You might think your only options are to tough it out, give up, or head straight to court. But there’s a middle ground, and it’s called mediation. Choosing mediation for your contract disagreements isn’t just about finding a way to settle things; it’s about doing it smarter, faster, and often, with less damage to your business and your wallet.
Achieving Faster Resolution Times
Let’s face it, nobody wants to be stuck in a dispute for months or even years. Litigation can drag on forever, with court dates, filings, and appeals taking up an enormous amount of time. Mediation, on the other hand, is designed to be efficient. Sessions are scheduled at the convenience of the parties, and the focus is on direct problem-solving. This means you can often reach a resolution in a matter of weeks, or even days, rather than waiting for a judge’s decision.
Reducing Overall Costs and Expenses
Court battles are notoriously expensive. You’ve got legal fees, court costs, expert witness fees, and all sorts of other expenses that can pile up quickly. Mediation is typically far more cost-effective. The mediator’s fees are usually split between the parties, and because the process is less formal and quicker, the overall legal costs are significantly lower. Think of it as an investment in a swift, affordable solution rather than a prolonged, costly fight.
Preserving Valuable Business Relationships
Contracts are often the foundation of ongoing business relationships. When disputes arise, the adversarial nature of litigation can permanently damage trust and goodwill. Mediation, however, is a collaborative process. It encourages open communication and helps parties understand each other’s perspectives, even when they disagree. This focus on finding common ground can help repair strained relationships and allow businesses to continue working together productively after the dispute is resolved.
Maintaining Privacy and Confidentiality
Court proceedings are public record. This means sensitive business information, financial details, and the specifics of your dispute can become accessible to anyone. Mediation, by contrast, is a private process. Discussions, documents shared, and the final agreement are kept confidential, protected by agreements between the parties and the mediator. This privacy is a huge advantage, especially when dealing with trade secrets, proprietary information, or matters that could impact your company’s reputation if made public.
Types of Disputes Addressed by Mediation
Mediation isn’t just for one kind of problem; it’s pretty flexible. Think of it as a tool that can help sort out a whole range of disagreements, especially when people involved want to keep talking and find a solution together rather than having a judge decide. It works well when the details of the contract are fuzzy or when people just aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on what was agreed upon.
Resolving Performance Obligation Disagreements
Sometimes, the issue is straightforward: one party believes the other didn’t do what they promised in the contract. This could be about delivering goods on time, completing a service to a certain standard, or meeting specific project milestones. Mediation can help parties clarify what "complete" or "satisfactory" actually means in their specific situation. It’s not about assigning blame, but about figuring out what needs to happen now to move forward. Maybe the original deadline needs adjusting, or perhaps a different approach to the service is required. The goal is to get the performance back on track or to agree on a fair way to compensate for any shortfall.
Addressing Payment Term Conflicts
Money is a big one, right? Disputes over payments are super common. This can range from disagreements about the amount owed, the timing of payments, or even the method of payment. Maybe one party feels they’ve paid in full, while the other insists there’s a balance due. Or perhaps there’s a dispute over late fees or interest charges. Mediation provides a space to lay out all the financial records and discuss the reasons behind the payment issues. It can lead to creative solutions, like a payment plan, a partial waiver of fees, or a clear agreement on how future payments will be handled to avoid similar problems.
Clarifying Scope of Work Issues
Contracts often define a "scope of work," but sometimes that scope can become a source of confusion. What was included? What was explicitly excluded? Parties might have had different understandings from the start, or the project might have evolved in ways not clearly covered by the original agreement. Mediation helps to unpack these differing interpretations. By discussing what each party believed the scope entailed, a mediator can help bridge the gap and establish a shared understanding of the work that was required, completed, or perhaps needs to be added or removed.
Interpreting Contractual Clauses
Legal language can be tricky. Even with well-drafted contracts, specific clauses can be interpreted in multiple ways. This is where mediation can be really useful. Instead of getting bogged down in legal arguments about the precise meaning of a word or phrase, mediation focuses on the practical implications of those clauses for the parties involved. It allows for a discussion about the intent behind the clause and how it affects the current situation. The aim is to reach a mutual understanding that allows both parties to move forward without the need for a court to make a definitive, and potentially costly, interpretation.
Preparing for Successful Contract Mediation
Getting ready for a contract mediation session is pretty important if you actually want to get something resolved. It’s not just about showing up; it’s about showing up prepared. Think of it like getting ready for a big meeting, but with the goal of actually finding a solution instead of just talking about the problem. This means you need to have a good handle on what you want and what you absolutely need to get out of the mediation.
Gathering Relevant Documentation
This is where you dig out all the papers related to the contract and the dispute. It’s not just the contract itself, but also any emails, letters, invoices, receipts, or even meeting notes that have anything to do with what went wrong or what was agreed upon. Having these documents handy helps you remember the details and can be really useful for showing the other side (and the mediator) what happened from your point of view. It’s good to organize them so you can find what you need quickly.
- The original contract and any amendments.
- All correspondence (emails, letters, memos) related to the contract.
- Invoices, payment records, and proof of payment.
- Records of work performed or services rendered.
- Any expert reports or assessments.
Defining Your Interests and Goals
Beyond just what you think you want (your position), it’s helpful to figure out why you want it (your interests). For example, your position might be that you want a full refund. But your underlying interest might be to recoup your financial losses, or perhaps to ensure the other party doesn’t repeat the same mistake with someone else. Knowing these deeper interests can open up more creative solutions that satisfy everyone better than just sticking to a rigid demand. What does success look like for you at the end of this? What are the absolute must-haves, and what are the nice-to-haves?
Understanding Your Legal Standing
While mediation isn’t a court case, it’s wise to have a general idea of where you stand legally. This doesn’t mean you need to be a lawyer, but understanding the basic legal implications of the contract and the dispute can help you make realistic decisions. If you have legal counsel, this is definitely the time to talk to them. They can help you assess the strengths and weaknesses of your case, which informs what a reasonable settlement might look like. It helps you avoid agreeing to something that’s way below what you might get in court, or conversely, holding out for something that’s legally unlikely.
It’s easy to get caught up in the emotions of a dispute, but preparation helps ground you. Having your facts and documents in order, and a clear idea of your objectives, allows you to engage more effectively in the mediation process. This structured approach can significantly increase the chances of reaching a satisfactory resolution.
Developing a Strategy for Negotiation
Think about how you want to approach the discussions. What are you willing to concede? What are your non-negotiables? It’s also helpful to consider what the other party might want and what their potential interests could be. Sometimes, anticipating their needs can help you brainstorm solutions that work for both sides. Having a basic strategy, even if it changes during mediation, gives you a framework to work within. It’s not about having all the answers, but about being ready to explore them thoughtfully.
Crafting a Binding Settlement Agreement
Once you and the other party have reached an understanding during mediation, the next step is to put it all down on paper. This is where the settlement agreement comes in. It’s the formal document that spells out exactly what everyone has agreed to. Think of it as the final product of your mediation efforts.
Key Elements of a Settlement Document
A good settlement agreement needs to be clear and cover all the important points. If it’s vague, it can lead to more disagreements down the road. Here’s what you should generally expect to see:
- Specific Terms: What exactly is each party promising to do? This could involve payments, actions, or refraining from certain activities.
- Timelines: When do these actions need to happen? Deadlines are important for accountability.
- Responsibilities: Who is responsible for what? Clearly assigning tasks prevents confusion.
- Conditions: Are there any conditions that need to be met for the agreement to be valid?
- Confidentiality Clause: Often, the terms of the settlement itself are kept private.
Ensuring Clarity and Specificity
This is where plain language really matters. Avoid legal jargon if you can, or make sure it’s clearly defined. The goal is for anyone reading the agreement to understand what’s expected without needing a law degree. For instance, instead of saying ‘party of the first part shall remit payment,’ it’s much clearer to say ‘Company A will pay $5,000 to Company B.’ Specificity also means detailing things like payment methods, delivery schedules, or the exact scope of work to be performed. A well-drafted agreement leaves no room for misinterpretation.
Enforceability of Mediated Agreements
So, you’ve signed the agreement. What happens if someone doesn’t follow through? Generally, a signed settlement agreement from mediation is a legally binding contract. This means if one party fails to uphold their end of the deal, the other party can take legal action to enforce it. The exact process for enforcement can depend on the jurisdiction and the specific wording of your agreement. Sometimes, parties might agree to have the settlement converted into a court order, which can make enforcement more straightforward. It’s often a good idea to have an attorney review the agreement before you sign it to make sure it meets all legal requirements for enforceability in your area.
The transition from a mediated discussion to a formal, enforceable document is a critical phase. It requires careful attention to detail to ensure that the agreed-upon terms accurately reflect the parties’ intentions and can withstand scrutiny if challenged.
When Mediation May Not Be Suitable
While mediation is a fantastic tool for many disagreements, it’s not a magic wand for every situation. Sometimes, the nature of the dispute or the people involved means mediation just won’t be the best path forward. It really requires a willingness from everyone to engage and try to find common ground. If that’s not there, pushing for mediation can feel like a waste of time and resources.
Assessing Power Imbalances
One big red flag is when there’s a significant difference in power between the parties. Think about a situation where one person has a lot more information, resources, or influence than the other. In such cases, the less powerful party might feel pressured into agreeing to something they’re not comfortable with, just to get the mediation over with. The mediator’s job is to try and level the playing field, but sometimes the imbalance is just too great to overcome effectively. It’s tough to have a truly voluntary and self-determined outcome when one side holds all the cards.
Identifying Situations Requiring Legal Adjudication
Some disputes are simply too complex or involve legal principles that need a formal ruling. If a case hinges on a novel interpretation of a law, or if there’s a need to set a legal precedent, mediation might not be the right venue. Similarly, if one party has engaged in serious misconduct, like fraud or a clear violation of a statute, the matter might be better suited for a court where evidence can be formally presented and a binding judgment can be made. Mediation is about finding practical solutions, not necessarily about determining legal guilt or innocence.
Recognizing the Limits of Confidentiality
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of mediation, encouraging open discussion. However, there are situations where this protection might not apply or could even be detrimental. For instance, if there’s a genuine threat of harm to someone, or if illegal activities like child abuse are disclosed, mediators may have a legal or ethical obligation to report it. In these instances, the privacy that mediation offers can’t be guaranteed, and it might be safer or more appropriate to involve authorities or pursue a resolution through formal channels where such disclosures are handled according to law.
Moving Forward with Mediation
So, we’ve talked a lot about how mediation can really help when contracts go sideways. It’s not about winning or losing like in court; it’s more about finding a way forward that works for everyone involved. Think of it as a structured chat with a neutral person helping you both figure things out. It’s usually faster, cheaper, and keeps things private, which is a big deal for businesses. Plus, you get to decide the outcome, not some judge. While it doesn’t work for every single situation, for most contract disagreements, giving mediation a shot is a smart move. It often leads to solutions that people can actually live with and keeps the door open for future dealings, which is pretty important in the long run.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is contract dispute mediation?
Think of contract dispute mediation as a way to solve disagreements about contracts with the help of a neutral person. Instead of going to court, where a judge makes the final decision, you and the other person involved talk things out with a mediator. The mediator doesn’t take sides but helps you both communicate better and find a solution you can both agree on.
Why is mediation better than going to court for contract issues?
Mediation is usually much faster and cheaper than going to court. Court cases can take a long time and cost a lot of money. Plus, mediation is private, so your business details stay between you and the other party. It also helps you keep a good working relationship, which is hard to do when you’re fighting in court.
What does a mediator do?
A mediator is like a referee for your conversation. They make sure everyone gets a chance to speak and be heard. They help you understand each other’s points of view, ask questions to get to the real issues, and guide you both towards finding common ground and a solution that works for everyone.
Do I have to agree to mediation?
Usually, yes. Mediation is a voluntary process. This means you choose to participate and you have the power to decide if you want to agree to a solution. Even if a court suggests mediation, you still have the final say on whether to settle or not. You can’t be forced to agree to something you don’t want.
What kind of contract problems can mediation help with?
Mediation can help with lots of contract issues. For example, if you disagree about whether a job was done correctly, how much someone should pay, what the contract actually means, or if someone isn’t doing what they promised. It’s good for sorting out misunderstandings before they become big problems.
Is everything said in mediation kept private?
Yes, for the most part. What you say during mediation is usually kept confidential. This means it can’t be used against you later in court. This privacy encourages people to speak more openly and honestly, which helps in finding a solution.
What happens if we reach an agreement in mediation?
If you and the other party agree on a solution, the mediator helps you write it down. This written agreement is usually called a settlement agreement. It’s often a legally binding document, meaning you both have to follow through with what you promised. It’s like signing a new contract that settles the old dispute.
When might mediation not be a good idea?
Mediation works best when both sides are willing to talk and compromise. If one person is being very unfair, or if there’s a big power difference where one person is being pressured, mediation might not be the best choice. Also, if there’s been serious harm or abuse, other methods might be more appropriate.