Understanding the Benefits of a Pre-mediation Agreement


Thinking about mediation? It’s a way to sort things out without going to court. But before you even sit down with a mediator, there’s something called a pre-mediation agreement. It might sound like just another piece of paper, but this agreement is actually pretty important. It sets the stage for the whole mediation process, making sure everyone knows what to expect and what the rules are. Let’s break down why this pre-mediation agreement is a good idea.

Key Takeaways

  • A pre-mediation agreement is a document that outlines the rules and expectations for a mediation session before it begins. It helps make the process smoother for everyone involved.
  • It clearly defines who is participating, what issues will be discussed, and the general steps of the mediation process itself.
  • This agreement also covers important aspects like keeping discussions private (confidentiality) and making sure the mediator stays fair and unbiased (neutrality).
  • Signing a pre-mediation agreement can reduce stress and confusion by setting clear expectations for how everyone should participate and prepare for the meeting.
  • Ultimately, having this agreement in place helps make mediation more efficient, cost-effective, and can even help preserve relationships by providing a structured way to resolve conflicts.

Understanding the Pre-Mediation Agreement

Defining the Pre-Mediation Agreement

A pre-mediation agreement, sometimes called an "Agreement to Mediate," is basically a roadmap for the whole mediation process. It’s a document that everyone involved sits down and agrees to before the actual mediation session kicks off. Think of it as setting the ground rules for how you’re going to try and sort things out. It’s not the final settlement, but it’s the agreement on how you’ll get there. This agreement helps make sure everyone is on the same page from the start. It covers things like who is actually involved, what issues are on the table, and how the mediation will work.

The Role of the Pre-Mediation Agreement in ADR

In the broader world of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), a pre-mediation agreement plays a pretty important role. ADR is all about finding ways to solve problems outside of a courtroom, and mediation is a big part of that. This agreement helps make mediation more structured and predictable. It clarifies the process, which is key because mediation can feel a bit uncertain to people who haven’t done it before. By defining the scope and the rules upfront, it reduces surprises and helps build a foundation of trust between the parties and the mediator. It’s like agreeing on the rules of a game before you start playing – it just makes everything run smoother.

Key Components of a Pre-Mediation Agreement

So, what actually goes into one of these agreements? There are a few main things you’ll usually find:

  • Identification of Parties: Clearly states who is participating in the mediation. This includes not just the main people in the dispute but also any representatives or legal counsel.
  • Scope of Issues: Outlines the specific problems or disagreements that will be discussed during mediation. This helps keep the conversation focused and prevents unrelated matters from derailing the process.
  • Confidentiality Clause: This is a big one. It states that what’s said and done during mediation generally stays private and can’t be used later in court, with some specific exceptions.
  • Mediator’s Role and Authority: Defines what the mediator will and won’t do. They are facilitators, not judges, and this is usually spelled out.
  • Process Ground Rules: This can include things like how communication will work, whether caucuses (private meetings with the mediator) will be used, and the general expectations for respectful dialogue.
  • Voluntary Nature: Reaffirms that participation is voluntary and that parties have the right to end the mediation at any time.

The pre-mediation agreement is more than just paperwork; it’s a commitment to a particular way of resolving conflict. It sets a tone of cooperation and mutual respect, which is exactly what mediation aims to achieve. Without it, the process can feel less secure and more prone to misunderstandings.

Establishing Clarity and Scope

Before anyone even sits down to talk, it’s super important to get on the same page about what we’re actually doing here. That’s where defining the parameters of the mediation process comes in. It’s not just about showing up; it’s about knowing the rules of the road.

Defining the Mediation Process Parameters

Think of this as setting the stage. We need to figure out the basics: how long will this take? What days are we looking at? Will it be in person, or online? And who’s going to be there? Getting these details ironed out beforehand stops a lot of confusion later. It’s about making sure everyone understands the structure of the conversation we’re about to have.

Identifying Parties and Stakeholders

Who is actually involved in this dispute? It sounds obvious, but sometimes there are people or groups who are affected by the outcome, even if they aren’t directly arguing. Identifying everyone who has a stake in the game helps make sure the resolution actually works for everyone it needs to. It’s like making sure all the important guests are invited to the party.

Outlining the Scope of Issues to Be Mediated

This is a big one. What exactly are we trying to solve? We need to list out the specific problems or disagreements that will be discussed. It’s really helpful to be as clear as possible about what’s on the table and, just as importantly, what’s not on the table. This prevents the conversation from veering off into unrelated territory and keeps the focus on finding solutions for the actual issues at hand. It’s about drawing a clear boundary around the discussion so we don’t get lost.

Setting clear boundaries and understanding the scope of issues helps keep the mediation focused and productive. It’s about making sure everyone is working towards the same goals within a defined framework, which reduces the chances of frustration and wasted time.

Ensuring Confidentiality and Neutrality

When parties agree to mediation, they’re stepping into a process built on trust and a safe space for open discussion. Two pillars that hold this up are confidentiality and the mediator’s neutrality. Without these, the whole structure can crumble.

The Importance of Confidentiality Agreements

Think of a confidentiality agreement as the handshake that seals the deal for open talk. It’s a formal promise that what’s said and shared during mediation stays within the room, or at least, within the bounds of the agreement. This isn’t just about keeping secrets; it’s about encouraging parties to speak freely, explore options, and even admit things they might not otherwise, all without the fear that their words will be used against them later in court or elsewhere. This protection is key to making mediation a practical tool for resolving disputes.

  • Encourages Full Disclosure: Parties are more likely to share underlying interests and concerns when they know it won’t be held against them.
  • Facilitates Creative Problem-Solving: Without fear of reprisal, parties can brainstorm solutions that might seem unconventional but are effective.
  • Protects Sensitive Information: Business strategies, personal finances, or family matters can be discussed without risk of public exposure.

The commitment to confidentiality is what allows mediation to function as a distinct and effective dispute resolution process, separate from the adversarial nature of litigation.

Upholding Mediator Neutrality and Impartiality

A mediator’s job is to be a guide, not a judge. They must remain impartial, meaning they don’t take sides, show favoritism, or have any personal stake in the outcome of the dispute. This neutrality is what gives parties confidence that the process is fair and that the mediator is focused solely on helping them find their own solution. If a mediator seems biased, parties will likely disengage, and the mediation will fail. It’s about creating an even playing field where both sides feel respected and heard.

Understanding Exceptions to Confidentiality

While confidentiality is a cornerstone, it’s not absolute. There are specific, limited situations where the mediator might be required or permitted to break confidentiality. These exceptions are usually in place to prevent serious harm or uphold legal obligations.

  • Imminent Harm: If a mediator learns that a party intends to commit an act that could cause immediate serious physical injury or death to themselves or another person, they may need to disclose this information to prevent the harm.
  • Child Abuse or Neglect: Many jurisdictions have laws requiring mediators to report suspected child abuse or neglect.
  • Fraud or Criminal Acts: In some cases, if a mediator becomes aware of ongoing or future criminal activity, particularly fraud that could harm the public, disclosure might be necessary.
  • Court Orders: While rare, a court might order the disclosure of mediation communications, though this is generally disfavored.

It’s important for all parties to understand these potential exceptions before mediation begins, often detailed in the pre-mediation agreement itself.

Setting Expectations for Participation

Voluntary Participation and Self-Determination

Mediation is built on the idea that people should have a say in how their problems get solved. This means you’re there because you want to be, not because a judge is forcing you. Your involvement is voluntary, and you always have the right to walk away if you feel the process isn’t working for you. This principle of self-determination is key. It means you, and the other party, are the ones who ultimately decide what goes into any agreement. The mediator’s job isn’t to tell you what to do, but to help you two figure it out yourselves. It’s about empowering you to find solutions that make sense for your specific situation.

Preparing for the Mediation Session

Showing up to mediation without any preparation is like going into an exam without studying – you might get lucky, but it’s unlikely to go well. A pre-mediation agreement can help set the stage, but you still need to do your homework. Think about what you really need to get out of this. What are your main concerns? What would a good outcome look like? It’s also helpful to gather any documents or information that might be relevant to the issues you’ll be discussing. Being organized and clear about your goals will make the actual mediation session much more productive.

Here’s a quick checklist to get you started:

  • Identify your core needs: What are the underlying interests driving your position?
  • List your priorities: What’s most important to you in resolving this dispute?
  • Consider potential solutions: Brainstorm a few options, even if they seem unlikely at first.
  • Gather relevant documents: Bring copies of contracts, correspondence, or any other information that supports your case.

The Role of Legal Counsel in the Agreement

Sometimes, people wonder if they need a lawyer when they agree to mediation. It really depends on the situation. For some disputes, especially those involving complex legal matters or significant financial stakes, having legal counsel involved from the start is a good idea. Your lawyer can help you understand your rights and obligations, advise you on the potential outcomes of mediation, and even help draft the final agreement to make sure it’s legally sound. However, in other cases, parties might choose to mediate without lawyers, especially if they have a good working relationship and the issues are relatively straightforward. The pre-mediation agreement can clarify whether legal representation is expected or recommended for the parties involved.

The decision to involve legal counsel should be based on the complexity of the dispute, the stakes involved, and the comfort level of the parties. While mediation aims for direct party communication, legal advice can provide a critical safety net and ensure that any agreement reached is fair and enforceable.

Facilitating Effective Communication

Getting people to talk constructively, especially when they’re already upset, is a big part of what mediation is all about. It’s not just about letting everyone vent; it’s about guiding that conversation so it actually leads somewhere productive. A pre-mediation agreement can really help set the stage for this.

Ground Rules for Constructive Dialogue

Think of ground rules as the basic etiquette for your mediation session. They’re not meant to be restrictive, but rather to create a safe space where everyone feels comfortable speaking and listening. Without them, discussions can quickly devolve into arguments, and that’s the opposite of what we want. A pre-mediation agreement is a great place to outline these rules upfront, so everyone knows what to expect.

Here are some common ground rules that are often agreed upon:

  • Speak one at a time: No interrupting each other. This ensures everyone gets a fair chance to be heard.
  • Listen to understand: Try to really hear what the other person is saying, not just wait for your turn to talk.
  • Be respectful: Even if you disagree strongly, avoid personal attacks, name-calling, or shouting.
  • Focus on the issues: Stick to the problems you’re trying to solve, rather than bringing up past grievances unrelated to the current dispute.
  • Be open to solutions: Come to the table willing to explore different possibilities.

These aren’t just suggestions; they’re the building blocks for a successful mediation. When parties agree to these rules beforehand, it shows a commitment to the process and a willingness to engage in a more positive way.

Strategies for Active Listening and Reframing

Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the message, both spoken and unspoken. It involves paying attention, showing you’re listening through body language, and providing feedback. This might mean nodding, making eye contact, or summarizing what you’ve heard to make sure you’ve got it right. It’s a skill that can be learned and practiced, and it makes a huge difference in how understood people feel.

Reframing is another powerful tool. It’s about taking a negative or accusatory statement and turning it into something more neutral and constructive. For example, if someone says, "You always ignore my concerns!", a mediator might reframe it as, "So, it sounds like you’re feeling unheard regarding your concerns, and you’d like to find a way for them to be addressed?" This shifts the focus from blame to problem-solving and opens the door for more productive conversation. A pre-mediation agreement can mention the mediator’s commitment to using these techniques, setting expectations for how communication will be managed.

Managing Emotions During Mediation

Let’s be real, emotions run high in disputes. People are often stressed, angry, or frustrated. A good mediator knows how to acknowledge these emotions without letting them derail the process. This might involve taking breaks when things get too heated, validating feelings by saying things like, "I can see why you’re upset about that," or using de-escalation techniques. The goal isn’t to suppress emotions, but to manage them so they don’t prevent progress.

A pre-mediation agreement can acknowledge that emotions are a natural part of conflict and that the process will aim to manage them constructively, allowing parties to express themselves while maintaining a focus on resolution.

By agreeing to ground rules, understanding communication strategies, and acknowledging the role of emotions, parties can enter mediation with a clearer picture of how the conversation will flow. This preparation, often solidified in a pre-mediation agreement, significantly increases the chances of a positive and productive outcome.

Addressing Potential Impasses

Two people in a professional discussion, one gesturing.

Anticipating Deadlocks in Negotiations

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, mediation can hit a wall. This is what we call an impasse, or a deadlock. It’s that point where parties just can’t seem to agree, no matter how much they talk. It’s not uncommon, honestly. Think of it like trying to solve a puzzle where two pieces just won’t fit, no matter how you turn them. The pre-mediation agreement can’t magically prevent these moments, but it can set the stage for how you’ll handle them if they pop up. It’s about being prepared, not necessarily expecting the worst.

Mediator’s Role in Overcoming Impasse

The mediator is key here. They’re trained to spot when things are getting stuck and have a whole toolbox of strategies to try and get things moving again. One common technique is the caucus, where the mediator meets with each party separately. This private chat can be a safe space to explore underlying needs or concerns that might not be voiced in joint sessions. It allows the mediator to reality-test proposals without anyone losing face. They might also try reframing issues, breaking down big problems into smaller, more manageable ones, or suggesting different options that haven’t been considered yet. The goal is to find a new angle or a creative solution that both sides can live with.

The Pre-Mediation Agreement’s Role in Impasse Resolution

So, how does the agreement we talked about earlier help with these sticky situations? Well, it can include clauses about what happens if an impasse occurs. For instance, it might specify:

  • Whether the parties agree to continue mediation with the same mediator or seek a new one.
  • If a cooling-off period is needed before resuming discussions.
  • The possibility of bringing in a subject-matter expert if technical details are causing the deadlock.
  • How communication will be handled during any pause in mediation.

While the agreement can’t force a resolution, it can provide a clear roadmap for navigating the difficult terrain of an impasse. This structure helps prevent the process from completely falling apart and keeps the door open for future progress, even if it requires a slight detour.

It’s also about managing expectations. Knowing that there are pre-agreed steps for dealing with a deadlock can reduce anxiety when one arises. It means you’re not starting from scratch trying to figure out what to do next when emotions might be running high. This foresight can make a big difference in ultimately reaching a resolution, or at least in concluding the process constructively.

The Legal Framework of Mediation

Understanding the Uniform Mediation Act (UMA)

The Uniform Mediation Act (UMA) is a piece of legislation that many states have adopted to bring some consistency to how mediation is handled, especially when it comes to keeping things confidential. Think of it as a set of guidelines that helps define what can and can’t be discussed in mediation and whether those discussions can be brought up later in court. The UMA generally protects communications made during mediation from being disclosed later, promoting open and honest conversation. This protection, often called mediation privilege, is a big deal because it encourages people to speak freely without worrying that their words will be used against them in a lawsuit. However, it’s not a blanket shield; there are exceptions, like when someone threatens harm or when there’s evidence of fraud. Knowing these rules is pretty important if you’re heading into mediation.

Court-Annexed ADR and Its Implications

Sometimes, courts will actually require parties to try mediation or other forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) before they’ll hear a case. This is known as court-annexed ADR. The idea behind it is to help clear court dockets and encourage people to settle disputes more efficiently. It can mean that mediation is a required step in your legal journey, not just an option you choose. The implications are that you might have a deadline to attempt mediation, and the process might have specific rules set by the court. While it can speed things up, it also means that the voluntary nature of mediation might feel a bit less so if you’re being directed there by a judge. Still, even when court-ordered, mediation can lead to successful resolutions.

Enforceability of Mediated Settlements

So, you’ve gone through mediation, and everyone has agreed on a solution. What happens next? This is where enforceability comes in. Generally, a mediated settlement agreement is a contract. If all the parties sign it, and it meets the basic requirements of a contract (like offer, acceptance, and consideration), it can be legally binding. This means if one party doesn’t follow through on the agreement, the other party can take legal action to enforce it, much like they would with any other contract. In some cases, especially with court-annexed mediation, the agreement might be submitted to the court for approval, which can make enforcement even more straightforward. The goal is to create a clear, written document that both sides understand and are committed to upholding.

Here’s a quick look at how agreements are typically handled:

Agreement Type Binding Status
Signed Settlement Legally binding contract
Court-Approved Order Legally binding and enforceable by the court
Memorandum of Understanding Often non-binding, outlines intent for future agreement

Benefits of a Pre-Mediation Agreement

So, you’re thinking about mediation. That’s a smart move, especially if you want to sort things out without the whole court drama. But before you even sit down with a mediator, there’s this thing called a pre-mediation agreement. It might sound like just another piece of paper, but honestly, it can make a huge difference in how smoothly everything goes. It’s like having a roadmap before you start a long trip – you know where you’re going and what to expect.

Reducing Uncertainty and Anxiety

Let’s face it, going into any kind of dispute resolution can be nerve-wracking. You might not know who will be there, what will be discussed, or even how the whole process works. A pre-mediation agreement helps clear a lot of that up. It lays out who the parties are, what issues are on the table, and the basic rules of engagement. Knowing these details beforehand can really take the edge off and make you feel more prepared and less anxious about the upcoming session. It’s about setting a calm tone from the start.

Enhancing Efficiency and Cost-Effectiveness

When everyone agrees on the ground rules and the scope of the discussion beforehand, the actual mediation session tends to be much more focused. You’re not wasting time at the beginning trying to figure out who’s involved or what you’re supposed to be talking about. This focus means you can get straight to the heart of the matter. Think about it: less time spent on procedural stuff usually means fewer hours billed by the mediator, and potentially fewer hours spent by your legal counsel if they’re involved. It’s a win-win for keeping things on track and within budget.

Preserving Relationships Through Structured Process

Mediation is often chosen because people want to maintain some kind of relationship after the dispute is resolved, whether it’s a business partnership, family ties, or co-workers. A pre-mediation agreement helps by establishing a framework for respectful communication. It sets expectations for how parties will interact, listen to each other, and work towards solutions. This structured approach can prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict during the mediation itself, which is pretty important if you plan on seeing or working with these people again.

Here’s a quick look at how it helps:

  • Clearer Expectations: Everyone knows what to expect from the process and from each other.
  • Focused Discussions: Time is spent on resolving issues, not defining them.
  • Respectful Interaction: Ground rules promote constructive dialogue.
  • Reduced Stress: Knowing the plan makes the experience less daunting.

Ultimately, a pre-mediation agreement isn’t just a formality; it’s a strategic tool. It builds a foundation of clarity, respect, and efficiency, setting the stage for a more productive and successful mediation experience. It’s about making sure everyone is on the same page before the real work begins.

Tailoring the Agreement to Specific Contexts

Family Mediation Agreements

When we talk about family mediation, we’re usually looking at stuff like divorce, figuring out custody, or dividing up property. The agreement here needs to be super clear about who’s doing what, especially when kids are involved. It’s not just about the legal bits; it’s about making sure everyone, especially the children, feels heard and has a path forward.

  • Custody and Parenting Plans: Detailed schedules for when each parent has the children, including holidays and special occasions.
  • Financial Arrangements: How assets, debts, and spousal or child support will be handled.
  • Communication Protocols: Guidelines for how parents will communicate about the children moving forward.

Sometimes, especially with kids, the agreement might include how parents will talk about difficult topics or how they’ll handle disagreements about the children’s upbringing later on. It’s all about setting up a structure that supports the family’s well-being post-separation.

Commercial Mediation Agreements

In the business world, mediation agreements are often more complex. Think contract disputes, partnership breakups, or intellectual property squabbles. The focus here is on protecting business interests and often, preserving relationships that are still valuable.

  • Scope of Dispute: Clearly defining the exact business issues being addressed.
  • Confidentiality: Protecting sensitive company information and trade secrets is paramount.
  • Resolution Terms: Detailing financial settlements, operational changes, or future business arrangements.

These agreements need to be precise to avoid future misunderstandings. Because businesses are involved, legal counsel is almost always part of the process, making sure the agreement is legally sound and enforceable. It’s about finding practical solutions that keep the business running or wind it down smoothly.

Workplace Mediation Agreements

Workplace disputes can range from disagreements between colleagues to issues between an employee and management. The goal of a mediation agreement in this setting is often to repair working relationships and create a more productive environment.

  • Behavioral Expectations: Outlining how parties will interact professionally moving forward.
  • Communication Guidelines: Establishing rules for constructive dialogue and feedback.
  • Resolution of Specific Grievances: Addressing the root cause of the conflict.

It’s important that workplace agreements focus on future interactions and creating a functional team dynamic. The mediator helps parties understand each other’s perspectives and agree on concrete steps to prevent similar issues from arising again. This often involves setting clear boundaries and expectations for professional conduct.

Navigating Cultural and Ethical Considerations

Cultural Competence in Mediation Agreements

When people from different backgrounds come together to mediate, things can get complicated fast. It’s not just about the words spoken, but how they’re said, what’s left unsaid, and even body language. A good mediator knows this. They try to understand that what seems direct and honest in one culture might come across as rude in another. Cultural competence means the mediator is aware of these differences and helps bridge them. This isn’t about making judgments; it’s about recognizing that communication styles vary widely. A pre-mediation agreement can touch on this by setting a general expectation for respectful communication, acknowledging that different approaches exist.

Addressing Power Imbalances Proactively

Sometimes, one person in a dispute has more influence, money, or information than the other. This is a power imbalance, and it can make fair negotiation really tough. The person with less power might feel afraid to speak up or agree to something that isn’t truly in their best interest. A pre-mediation agreement can be a place to acknowledge this possibility. It might include a statement that the mediator will work to ensure both parties feel heard and have an equal opportunity to participate. It’s about setting the stage so that the process itself doesn’t favor one side over the other before discussions even begin.

Ethical Standards for Mediators and Parties

Mediation relies heavily on trust. Parties need to trust that the mediator is neutral and that what they say in mediation stays confidential. Mediators, in turn, have a professional code of conduct they must follow. This includes things like being impartial, managing conflicts of interest, and maintaining confidentiality. The pre-mediation agreement is a key document for outlining these ethical expectations. It’s where parties formally agree to the mediator’s role and the rules of the game. It can also clarify what happens if someone breaks these rules, though most of the time, simply having these standards clearly stated upfront is enough to keep everyone on track.

Wrapping Up: The Value of a Pre-Mediation Agreement

So, we’ve talked about what a pre-mediation agreement is and why it’s a good idea. Basically, getting things like confidentiality and the mediator’s role down on paper before you even start can save a lot of headaches. It sets clear expectations for everyone involved, making the actual mediation process smoother and more productive. While it might seem like just another piece of paperwork, this agreement really helps lay the groundwork for a successful resolution, ensuring everyone’s on the same page from the get-go.

Frequently Asked Questions

What exactly is a pre-mediation agreement?

Think of a pre-mediation agreement as a ‘game plan’ before the actual mediation starts. It’s a document that everyone involved agrees to before they even sit down to talk. It lays out the rules of the game, like who’s playing, what topics are up for discussion, and how everyone should behave during the talks. It helps make sure everyone is on the same page from the very beginning.

Why is having a pre-mediation agreement important?

It’s super helpful because it clears up a lot of confusion before things get heated. It makes sure everyone knows what the mediation is about and what rules to follow. This can make the whole process smoother, faster, and less stressful for everyone involved. It’s like preparing for a big project – having a plan makes it much easier to succeed.

What kind of things are usually included in a pre-mediation agreement?

Usually, it covers who the main people are in the discussion, what specific problems they want to solve, and how they’ll talk to each other respectfully. It also often includes a promise to keep what’s said during mediation private. Sometimes, it even talks about how to handle disagreements if they come up during the mediation itself.

Does a pre-mediation agreement mean the mediation will definitely work?

Not necessarily. The agreement helps set things up for success by creating a clear and fair process. But mediation success really depends on the people involved being willing to talk openly, listen to each other, and try to find a solution. The agreement just makes it more likely that they can have a productive conversation.

Is a pre-mediation agreement a legally binding contract?

The agreement itself might be, especially the part about keeping things confidential. However, the main goal of mediation is for the parties to *decide* on a settlement. The pre-mediation agreement sets the stage for that discussion, but the actual settlement agreement reached at the end is what becomes legally binding, and that’s usually a separate document.

Who creates the pre-mediation agreement?

Often, the mediator helps draft it, or the parties and their lawyers work together to create it. The key is that everyone involved gets to review it and agree to its terms before mediation begins. It’s a collaborative effort to make sure everyone is comfortable with the process.

What happens if someone doesn’t follow the pre-mediation agreement?

If someone breaks the rules set out in the agreement, like talking about mediation outside the private sessions, it can be a problem. The mediator might address it directly to get things back on track. Depending on what was agreed upon, there could be consequences, but usually, the focus is on getting everyone to recommit to the process.

Can I get help understanding a pre-mediation agreement before I sign it?

Absolutely! It’s always a good idea to have a lawyer or a trusted advisor look over any agreement before you sign it. They can explain the terms in plain language and make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities. Don’t hesitate to ask questions until you feel completely comfortable.

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