Sometimes, talking things out directly just doesn’t work. When emotions run high or people just can’t seem to get on the same page, a different approach might be needed. That’s where shuttle mediation comes in. It’s a way to handle disagreements when direct conversation is tough, offering a structured path forward when things get complicated.
Key Takeaways
- Shuttle mediation is useful when direct conversations are difficult or impossible.
- It’s particularly helpful in high-conflict situations or when safety is a concern.
- The mediator acts as a go-between, carrying messages and proposals between parties.
- This method can help manage intense emotions and prevent communication breakdowns.
- Shuttle mediation is applied in various settings, including family, workplace, and commercial disputes.
When Shuttle Mediation Becomes Essential
Sometimes, direct conversation just isn’t working. When emotions run high, or parties feel unsafe discussing issues face-to-face, shuttle mediation offers a different path. This approach involves the mediator acting as a go-between, carrying messages and proposals back and forth between the parties who remain in separate rooms. It’s particularly useful when communication has broken down completely or when there’s a significant power imbalance that makes open dialogue difficult.
Addressing High-Conflict Situations
In situations where conflict is deeply entrenched, shuttle mediation can be a lifesaver. Parties in high-conflict disputes often struggle with intense emotions, distrust, and a history of negative interactions. Direct meetings can quickly escalate, leading to shouting matches or complete withdrawal. The mediator, by moving between rooms, can manage the pace and tone of the conversation, creating a buffer against immediate emotional reactions. This separation allows each party to express their concerns without the immediate pressure of confronting the other, which can be a critical step in de-escalating the situation.
- Structured Agendas: Mediators often use very clear, structured agendas to keep discussions focused.
- Clear Behavioral Boundaries: The mediator sets and enforces rules for communication, even indirectly.
- Reduced Direct Confrontation: Parties don’t have to face each other, lowering immediate defensiveness.
When direct negotiation feels impossible, shuttle mediation provides a structured way to keep the conversation moving forward without further damaging the relationship or escalating the conflict.
Ensuring Safety in Sensitive Disputes
Safety is paramount in mediation, especially when dealing with sensitive issues like domestic violence or severe harassment claims. In these scenarios, shuttle mediation is often the only appropriate method. It allows individuals to participate in the resolution process without being in the same physical space, mitigating risks of intimidation, retaliation, or further harm. The mediator screens carefully to make sure it’s suitable and safe for everyone involved. If there are any doubts about safety, mediation might not be the right fit at all.
Facilitating Communication Across Divides
Shuttle mediation is also effective when parties have vastly different communication styles, cultural backgrounds, or are separated by significant power imbalances. Think about a situation where a large corporation is in dispute with a small community group, or where there are language barriers. The mediator can help translate not just words, but also underlying intentions and concerns, ensuring that messages are understood accurately and respectfully. This process helps bridge gaps and allows for a more balanced exchange of information, which is key to finding common ground. It’s a way to preserve business relationships when direct talks become too challenging.
Here’s a quick look at when shuttle mediation shines:
- High emotional intensity
- History of failed direct communication
- Concerns about personal safety or intimidation
- Significant power or status differences between parties
- Need for a neutral buffer to manage communication flow
Understanding the Dynamics of Shuttle Mediation
Shuttle mediation isn’t just about keeping people apart; it’s a specific approach designed to manage conflict when direct conversation just isn’t working. Think of it like a go-between, but with a very structured purpose. The mediator acts as the bridge, carrying messages, clarifying points, and helping to de-escalate tension without the parties ever having to face each other directly. This method is particularly useful when emotions are running high, or when there’s a history of communication breakdown that makes face-to-face interaction unproductive or even unsafe.
The Mediator’s Role in Separating Parties
The mediator’s job in shuttle mediation is quite different from a traditional mediation. Instead of facilitating a joint discussion, they are constantly moving between the parties, who are usually in separate rooms or even separate buildings. This physical separation is key. The mediator doesn’t just relay messages verbatim; they carefully filter and reframe them. This means taking a heated statement from one party and presenting it to the other in a way that is less inflammatory, focusing on the underlying interest rather than the aggressive language. It’s a delicate balancing act, requiring the mediator to be highly attuned to the emotional state of each person and to manage the flow of information strategically.
Maintaining Neutrality While Moving Between Groups
Staying neutral is always a mediator’s top priority, but in shuttle mediation, it takes on an extra layer of complexity. The mediator is constantly interacting with each party individually. It’s easy to inadvertently appear to favor one side, especially if one party is more forthcoming or if the mediator spends more time in one room due to the nature of the discussion. To combat this, mediators use several techniques. They ensure equal time is spent with each party, maintain consistent communication styles, and avoid making any statements that could be interpreted as taking sides. Transparency about the process and the mediator’s role is also vital. The goal is to build and maintain trust with both parties, even though they are not interacting directly.
Strategies for Effective Communication Flow
Getting information to flow smoothly and productively in shuttle mediation requires specific strategies. Mediators often use private sessions, or ‘caucuses,’ to explore issues more deeply with each party. This is where individuals might feel more comfortable expressing their true needs, fears, or concerns without the pressure of the other party being present. The mediator then uses this information to help bridge the gap. They might:
- Summarize and reframe: Presenting a party’s concern in neutral terms.
- Reality test: Gently questioning the feasibility of a proposal or the consequences of not reaching an agreement.
- Brainstorm options: Helping each party generate potential solutions that can then be presented to the other.
- Manage expectations: Ensuring parties understand what is realistic and what might be achievable.
The effectiveness of shuttle mediation hinges on the mediator’s ability to manage the information exchange meticulously. It’s about more than just passing notes; it’s about carefully constructing a path toward resolution by translating emotions and positions into actionable proposals that both parties can consider objectively.
Suitability for Shuttle Mediation in Family Matters
Family disputes can get pretty intense, and sometimes, talking directly just doesn’t work. That’s where shuttle mediation really shines. It’s a lifesaver when emotions are running high, and people just can’t seem to be in the same room without things getting heated.
Navigating Divorce and Custody Disputes
When a marriage ends, there’s a lot to sort out, especially when kids are involved. Things like dividing property, figuring out child support, and creating a parenting plan can be incredibly stressful. If parents are finding it impossible to have a calm conversation about these topics, shuttle mediation offers a way forward. The mediator acts as a go-between, carrying messages and proposals back and forth. This separation can help reduce the immediate tension and defensiveness that often pops up during divorce talks. It gives each person space to think and respond without feeling attacked.
Managing Intergenerational Conflicts
Disagreements between different generations within a family can be tricky. Think about issues like elder care decisions, inheritance disagreements, or even just differing views on how things should be run. These situations often involve long-standing family dynamics and deeply held beliefs. Shuttle mediation can be useful here because it allows family members to express their concerns without the pressure of direct confrontation. The mediator can help translate complex feelings and needs between generations, making it easier to find common ground.
Addressing Domestic Violence Concerns Safely
Safety is always the top priority, and in cases involving domestic violence, direct mediation between parties is usually not appropriate. Shuttle mediation, however, can be a vital tool when one party has experienced abuse. The mediator meets with each person separately, ensuring that the person who has experienced violence can speak freely and safely without fear of intimidation or further harm. The mediator carefully manages all communication, acting as a buffer and protecting the vulnerable party. This approach allows for important issues to be addressed while maintaining strict safety protocols.
Shuttle mediation creates a structured environment where sensitive family matters can be discussed without the immediate pressure of face-to-face conflict, making it a valuable option when direct communication has broken down or poses a safety risk.
Application in Workplace and Organizational Conflicts
Workplace conflicts can really throw a wrench into things, affecting everything from daily tasks to the overall vibe of a company. When disagreements pop up between colleagues, or between an employee and management, it can quickly sour the atmosphere and hurt productivity. That’s where mediation steps in, offering a structured way to sort things out without things getting too messy.
Resolving Interpersonal Disputes Between Colleagues
Sometimes, two people just don’t see eye-to-eye. It might be a clash of personalities, different work styles, or a misunderstanding that’s just grown over time. These kinds of issues can make working together a real drag. Mediation provides a neutral space where both individuals can talk about what’s bothering them, and importantly, listen to the other person’s side. The goal isn’t necessarily to become best friends, but to find a way to work together professionally and respectfully.
- Identify the core issues: What’s really at the heart of the disagreement?
- Facilitate open communication: Create a safe environment for both parties to speak.
- Explore practical solutions: Focus on how they can move forward in the workplace.
- Develop working agreements: Outline expectations for future interactions.
When direct communication has broken down, a mediator can act as a bridge, helping each person express their concerns without interruption or immediate defensiveness. This structured dialogue is key to moving past the immediate conflict.
Addressing Grievances and Harassment Claims
Disputes involving formal grievances, or more serious allegations like harassment or discrimination, require a careful approach. These situations often carry significant emotional weight and potential legal implications. Mediation can be a useful tool here, but it’s not always the right fit. It depends heavily on the specifics of the claim and the organization’s policies. If both parties are willing to participate voluntarily and feel safe doing so, mediation can offer a confidential way to address the issues, potentially leading to a resolution that avoids lengthy and costly formal proceedings. However, in cases where there’s a significant power imbalance or a clear violation of law, other processes might be more appropriate.
Facilitating Team Reintegration Post-Conflict
After a conflict has significantly disrupted a team, getting everyone back on track can be a challenge. Mediation isn’t just about resolving the initial dispute; it can also play a role in helping a team heal and rebuild. This might involve sessions where the mediator helps the team discuss what happened, clarify roles and expectations, and establish new communication norms. The aim is to restore trust and improve how the team functions together moving forward. It’s about creating a more cohesive and productive unit.
| Aspect of Team Conflict | Pre-Mediation State | Post-Mediation Goal |
|---|---|---|
| Communication | Fragmented, Hostile | Open, Respectful |
| Trust | Eroded | Rebuilt |
| Collaboration | Strained, Absent | Functional, Active |
| Productivity | Decreased | Restored, Improved |
Commercial Disputes Benefiting from Shuttle Mediation
Resolving Contractual Disagreements
When businesses get into a bind over contracts, things can get tense pretty fast. Maybe one side feels the other didn’t deliver what was promised, or perhaps there’s a disagreement about payment terms. Direct talks can sometimes go in circles, with each party digging into their position. Shuttle mediation offers a way out of this stalemate. The mediator can move between the parties, carrying messages and exploring underlying interests without the pressure of face-to-face confrontation. This approach helps to de-escalate the situation and allows for a more objective look at the contract’s details and what each party truly needs.
Managing Partnership Dissolutions
Ending a business partnership is rarely simple. There are often shared assets, ongoing financial obligations, and differing visions for the future. Emotions can run high, making it tough to have productive conversations. Shuttle mediation provides a structured environment where sensitive discussions about dividing assets, settling debts, and determining future roles can happen more smoothly. By keeping the parties physically separate, the mediator can help manage the emotional temperature and focus on finding practical solutions that allow both parties to move forward.
Addressing Intellectual Property Conflicts
Disputes over intellectual property (IP) can be particularly tricky. They often involve complex technical details, significant financial stakes, and the need to protect sensitive business information. Direct negotiation might be difficult if parties are unwilling to reveal proprietary information or if there’s a history of mistrust. Shuttle mediation can be a good fit here because it allows for confidential discussions about the core issues. The mediator can help parties explore licensing options, settlement terms, or joint development possibilities while keeping sensitive details private and out of direct view of the other side.
Shuttle Mediation for Complex Multi-Party Disputes
When you have a lot of people involved in a disagreement, things can get really messy, really fast. Think about a big community project gone wrong, or a company merger where everyone has a different idea about how things should go. That’s where shuttle mediation really shines.
Coordinating Numerous Stakeholders
Dealing with many people means dealing with many different viewpoints, needs, and sometimes, agendas. It’s like trying to herd cats, but with more paperwork. A mediator acting as a go-between can manage the flow of information and keep things from getting too chaotic. They can meet with each group or individual separately, get a clear picture of what’s important to them, and then relay that information in a way that’s less likely to spark an argument. This structured approach helps make sure everyone feels heard, even if they aren’t in the same room.
Balancing Diverse Interests and Power Dynamics
In any group situation, there are usually some people with more influence or louder voices than others. This can make it tough for quieter voices to be heard. Shuttle mediation helps level the playing field. By meeting with parties individually, the mediator can identify these power differences and work to ensure that less powerful parties have a chance to express their concerns without feeling intimidated. It’s about finding a way for everyone’s interests to be considered, not just the loudest ones.
Here’s a look at how different interests might be managed:
| Stakeholder Group | Primary Interests | Potential Concerns |
|---|---|---|
| Community Residents | Quality of life, environmental impact | Lack of input, long-term effects |
| Business Owners | Economic viability, operational continuity | Regulatory hurdles, public perception |
| Government Agencies | Public safety, regulatory compliance | Project delays, budget overruns |
| Environmental Groups | Conservation, sustainability | Habitat disruption, pollution risks |
Managing Communication Complexity
Imagine trying to get ten people to agree on a single plan. It’s a communication nightmare waiting to happen. Shuttle mediation breaks down this complexity. The mediator acts as a filter and translator, ensuring messages are clear and understood. They can also help parties explore options they might not have considered if they were only talking to each other directly. This separation allows for more thoughtful responses and reduces the chance of misunderstandings escalating into bigger problems.
When multiple parties are involved, the sheer volume of communication can become an obstacle to resolution. Shuttle mediation provides a framework to manage this complexity by creating controlled channels for information exchange, allowing each party space to process information and formulate responses without the pressure of immediate, direct interaction with all other stakeholders.
The Role of Shuttle Mediation in Elder and Estate Issues
When it comes to the sensitive matters of elder care, estates, and inheritances, emotions can run high. These situations often involve complex family dynamics, long-held resentments, and significant financial stakes. Sometimes, direct conversation just isn’t working, or it’s simply too difficult for the people involved to sit in the same room. That’s where shuttle mediation can really make a difference.
Addressing Inheritance and Probate Conflicts
Disputes over wills, trusts, and the distribution of assets are unfortunately common. Family members might disagree on the executor’s actions, the interpretation of a will, or feel that certain heirs are being treated unfairly. In these cases, shuttle mediation provides a structured way to discuss these sensitive financial and personal issues. The mediator moves between parties, carrying messages and proposals, which can help to de-escalate tension and allow for more thoughtful responses. This approach is particularly useful when there’s a history of conflict or when parties feel they can’t speak freely in front of each other. It helps to avoid prolonged court battles that can drain resources and further damage relationships. For more on how mediation can help with business disputes, you can look at resolving contractual disagreements.
Navigating Caregiving and Decision-Making Authority
As parents age, difficult decisions about caregiving, living arrangements, and financial management often arise. Siblings might have differing opinions on what’s best for their aging parents, leading to significant friction. Who will manage finances? Where will they live? What medical treatments are appropriate? Shuttle mediation can create a safe space for these conversations. By separating the parties, it allows each person to express their concerns and ideas without immediate interruption or emotional reaction from others. The mediator’s role is to help clarify each person’s perspective and explore potential solutions that consider the well-being of the elder and the practicalities for the caregivers. This process can help families come to a shared understanding and plan, respecting everyone’s input.
Preserving Family Relationships During Disputes
Ultimately, many people want to resolve elder and estate issues in a way that preserves family ties. Litigation can be incredibly destructive to these relationships, often creating permanent rifts. Shuttle mediation offers a less adversarial path. It focuses on finding common ground and workable solutions rather than assigning blame. The mediator acts as a neutral go-between, helping to manage the communication flow and reduce the emotional intensity that often surrounds these types of disputes. This can allow for more honest discussions about underlying needs and fears, which is key to reaching agreements that everyone can live with. It’s about finding a way forward that honors the past while building a more stable future for the family.
Here are some common issues addressed:
- Disagreements over asset distribution
- Questions about an executor’s duties
- Differing views on elder care needs
- Concerns about financial management or capacity
- Interpretation of wills or trusts
Shuttle mediation in elder and estate matters is especially helpful when direct communication has broken down or when parties feel emotionally overwhelmed. It provides a structured, confidential environment to address complex issues without the pressure of face-to-face confrontation, thereby increasing the likelihood of preserving relationships and reaching mutually agreeable outcomes.
When Direct Negotiation Becomes Problematic
Sometimes, just sitting down and talking things out doesn’t quite cut it. When emotions run high or communication has completely broken down, trying to negotiate directly can feel like throwing fuel on a fire. It’s in these moments that a more structured approach becomes necessary.
Overcoming Communication Breakdowns
When parties can’t even seem to hear each other, let alone understand, direct talks often go nowhere. Misunderstandings pile up, and people start talking past each other. This is where a mediator steps in, acting as a go-between to help clarify points and rephrase things so they can be heard. It’s not about taking sides; it’s about making sure the message gets across without the usual static.
- Reframing: The mediator takes a statement that sounds accusatory and rephrases it in a neutral way. For example, "You never listen to me!" might become, "I feel unheard when my ideas aren’t acknowledged."
- Active Listening: Mediators model and encourage listening not just to respond, but to truly grasp the other person’s perspective.
- Structured Dialogue: Setting ground rules for speaking and listening helps create a safer space for conversation.
Mitigating Intense Emotional Responses
Disputes can bring out a lot of strong feelings – anger, frustration, hurt. When these emotions are running high, rational discussion is tough. People might get defensive, lash out, or shut down completely. Direct negotiation can easily get derailed by these emotional reactions, making it hard to focus on the actual issues.
A mediator can help manage the emotional temperature of a discussion. By acknowledging feelings without judgment and creating pauses when needed, they help prevent emotional outbursts from derailing the process. This allows parties to calm down enough to think more clearly.
Preventing Escalation of Hostility
If direct talks are already tense, they can quickly spiral into something worse. One wrong word, one perceived slight, and the whole situation can escalate. This is particularly risky when there’s a history of conflict or a significant power difference between the parties. The goal is to de-escalate, not to add more heat.
Here’s how a structured process helps:
- Controlled Environment: Mediation provides a formal setting with a neutral third party overseeing the interaction.
- Reduced Direct Confrontation: By using shuttle mediation, for instance, parties don’t have to face each other directly, lessening immediate triggers.
- Focus on Interests: Mediators guide conversations toward underlying needs and interests, which are often less inflammatory than stated positions.
- Pacing: The mediator can slow down the conversation or call for breaks, preventing rapid escalation.
Benefits of Separated Party Communication
When direct conversation between parties in a dispute becomes too heated or unproductive, separating them can open up new avenues for progress. This approach, often called shuttle mediation, allows each side to express themselves more freely without the immediate pressure of facing their counterpart. It’s a way to de-escalate tension and create a calmer environment for problem-solving.
Reducing Direct Confrontation and Defensiveness
One of the biggest hurdles in resolving conflicts is the tendency for people to become defensive when directly confronted. In a shuttle mediation setup, the mediator acts as a go-between. This buffer significantly reduces the chances of immediate emotional reactions or aggressive exchanges. Parties can speak more openly about their concerns and needs without feeling attacked, which is a huge step forward. It helps to lower the emotional temperature, making it easier to focus on the issues at hand rather than personal grievances. This method is particularly useful when there’s a history of intense arguments or misunderstandings.
Allowing for Candid Expression of Concerns
When parties are separated, they often feel more secure sharing sensitive information or admitting to underlying needs that they might otherwise hide. The privacy of communicating through a neutral third party encourages a more honest and complete disclosure of their situation. This candor is vital for the mediator to truly understand the core issues driving the conflict. Without this space for open expression, parties might stick to rigid positions, making it difficult to find common ground. The confidentiality of these private sessions is key to building the trust needed for this level of openness. It’s about creating a safe space for vulnerability, which is often a prerequisite for genuine resolution. You can find more about how mediators facilitate this in structured negotiation processes.
Creating Space for Objective Evaluation of Options
Being physically separated from the other party can also help individuals gain a more objective perspective on the situation. When emotions are running high, it’s hard to think clearly. By stepping away from the immediate conflict, parties can better assess their own needs, the other side’s potential responses, and the various options available. The mediator can use these private sessions to help each party reality-test their expectations and explore potential compromises without the pressure of immediate negotiation. This allows for a more rational and strategic approach to finding a solution, moving beyond emotional reactions to practical problem-solving. It’s about giving people the mental breathing room they need to think critically about the path forward.
Choosing the Right Mediation Model
Picking the right way to mediate a disagreement isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. It really depends on what the conflict is about, who’s involved, and what everyone hopes to get out of it. Think of it like choosing the right tool for a job; you wouldn’t use a hammer to screw in a bolt, right? The same goes for mediation. Some situations call for a mediator to be more hands-on, guiding the conversation and offering opinions, while others need a mediator to step back and just help the parties talk to each other directly.
Assessing Dispute Type and Party Needs
Different kinds of disputes benefit from different mediation styles. For instance, a disagreement between colleagues might do well with a facilitative approach where the mediator helps them find their own solutions. On the other hand, a complex business deal gone sour might need an evaluative mediator who can offer insights into legal or industry standards. It’s about matching the mediator’s style to the specific issues at hand.
Here’s a quick look at how some common dispute types align with mediation approaches:
| Dispute Type | Recommended Mediation Approach(es) | Key Considerations |
|---|---|---|
| Family/Divorce | Facilitative, Transformative | Emotional intensity, ongoing relationships |
| Workplace Conflicts | Facilitative, Interest-Based | Power dynamics, communication styles |
| Commercial/Contract Disputes | Evaluative, Interest-Based | Legal implications, financial stakes, business needs |
| Multi-Party Disputes | Strategic, Facilitative | Complexity, diverse interests, coordination needs |
Considering Safety and Power Dynamics
Safety is a big one. If there’s a history of abuse or a significant power imbalance, direct conversation might not be safe or productive. In these cases, shuttle mediation, where the mediator goes back and forth between parties, can be a much better option. It creates a buffer and allows people to express themselves without feeling threatened. We also need to think about who has more influence or resources; a good mediator will work to level the playing field so everyone feels heard.
A mediator’s ability to recognize and address power imbalances is key to a fair process. This might involve ensuring equal speaking time, validating concerns from the less powerful party, or using specific techniques to encourage open communication from all sides.
When Shuttle Mediation Offers a Distinct Advantage
Shuttle mediation really shines when direct communication has broken down completely or when emotions are running so high that people can’t even be in the same room. It’s also incredibly useful in situations where safety is a concern, like in some family disputes or when dealing with sensitive workplace harassment claims. The mediator acts as a go-between, carefully relaying messages and proposals, which can help de-escalate tension and allow for more rational problem-solving. This method can be a lifesaver when parties are too angry or scared to engage directly, providing a path forward when other methods seem impossible. You can find more information on different mediation approaches that might be suitable.
When to Consider Shuttle Mediation
So, we’ve talked about what shuttle mediation is and when it might be a good fit. It’s not for every situation, of course. But if you’re dealing with a conflict where tempers flare easily, or if there are safety concerns that make talking face-to-face tough, this method can really help. It gives people space while still allowing a neutral person to move the conversation forward. Think of it as a way to get past the immediate anger or fear so you can actually start working towards a solution. It’s about finding a path to resolution when direct conversation just isn’t working.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is shuttle mediation?
Shuttle mediation is a way to solve disagreements where the mediator goes back and forth between the people who are arguing. Instead of everyone being in the same room, the mediator talks to each person or group separately. This helps when people are having a really hard time talking to each other directly.
When is shuttle mediation a good idea?
It’s a good idea when people are very angry or upset with each other, or when they don’t feel safe talking face-to-face. It’s also helpful if there’s a big difference in how much power or control each person has, or if there’s been a lot of hurtful communication in the past.
How does a mediator help in shuttle mediation?
The mediator acts like a go-between. They listen to each person’s concerns and ideas, and then share them with the other side in a calm and clear way. The mediator’s job is to stay neutral and help both sides understand each other better, even though they aren’t talking directly.
Can shuttle mediation be used for family problems like divorce?
Yes, absolutely. Divorce and custody disagreements can be very emotional. Shuttle mediation can create a safer space for parents to discuss important issues about their children and finances without getting into heated arguments.
Is shuttle mediation useful for arguments at work?
It can be very useful. If coworkers can’t get along or if there have been complaints like harassment, shuttle mediation allows the mediator to gather information and help find solutions without forcing the people involved to confront each other directly, which might make things worse.
What happens if direct talking just isn’t working?
When people can’t communicate well, get too emotional, or keep escalating the fight, direct talking breaks down. Shuttle mediation steps in here because it removes the direct confrontation, giving everyone a chance to think more clearly and express themselves without immediate backlash.
Does shuttle mediation help people feel less defensive?
Yes, it often does. By not having to face the other person directly, people might feel less pressure to defend themselves. This can allow them to be more open about their real worries and needs, which is key to finding a solution.
Are there other types of mediation besides shuttle mediation?
Yes, there are. Sometimes mediators meet with everyone together in the same room (joint mediation). Other times, mediators might focus more on fixing relationships or evaluating the legal side of things. Shuttle mediation is just one tool, chosen when it best fits the situation and the people involved.